Artemis Fowl: Somewhere In Between
by toranspitfire
Summary: A boy genius, an elf, a dwarf, a pro wrestler and a centaur all walk into a bar... Artemis, Holly and Mulch have been gallivanting around town in an ignorant bliss, but now something evil is coming. Is it a new foe, or one they had thought long defeated?
1. Playing Games

**Artemis Fowl: Somewhere In-Between**

**A Fan fiction by:** Bella the Dork

**Description: **Post-Opal Deception. Pre-Lost Colonies. A boy genius, an elf, a dwarf, a pro wrestler and a centaur all walk into a bar... Artemis, Holly and Mulch have been gallivanting around town in an ignorant bliss, but now something evil is coming. Is it a new foe, or one they had thought long defeated?

**Genre: **Artemis Fowl, Action/Romance

**Rated:** T, to be safe. There's mild violence and some adult themes.

I didn't realise how many formatting mistakes there were in this... sorry if my crazy paragraphs have been confusing people. I'm going to do my best now to go through and edit it!

**PLEASE NOTE:** I previously wrote a fanfiction of book four called "Artemis Fowl: The Mastermind' however this was never completed because the real book "The Opal Deception" came out. I'm now writing a story that will hopefully fit in between the 4th and 5th books (hence the title "Somewhere In-Between") but I'm using ideas and excerpts of text from my previous story. Call it recycling if you wish. But I am not a THIEF, as it was my story to begin with.

Please read and review! If you hate my story, TELL ME WHY! If you've been a silent reader, just comment. You don't even have to critique me or anything, just say "I'm reading your story."

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**Chapter One: Playing Games**

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

Artemis Fowl the Second prowled the moonlit courtyard with mild annoyance. He was dressed from head to toe in black and the large blaster felt awkward in his hands. Artemis wasn't cut out for this sort of thing. As much as he hated to admit it, Artemis was quite clumsy, so being stealthy just didn't come easily. The young Irish boy slid behind a potted plant and scanned the area with narrowed eyes. In the beginning he had been very nervous, but now frustration and impatience had taken over his butterflies. He had lost before, but not tonight.

Artemis was going to find his enemies, and he was going to annihilate them.

A quick reflection passed by the fountain in the centre of the courtyard and Artemis spun around, searching for the culprit. There was a low brick wall enclosing the fountain, and if Artemis squinted, he could see a dark shadow lurking just behind. After estimating the best angle, Artemis cocked his blaster and shot a laser bolt at his shadowy target. A short, stout person jumped out from behind the wall and curled into a ball. Artemis frowned. "Missed."

Mulch Diggums stuck his tongue out at Artemis and rolled behind another wall, firing shots at the disgusted boy as he went. Artemis dove back behind the pot plant and countered with shots from his own blaster. Stupid dwarf! Artemis would get his revenge…

"Hey!"

Artemis stopped shooting and looked up to see a slim girl with pointed ears holding two blasters. Holly Short stood high above them on the roof of a nearby building, grinning with a look of triumph which made Artemis' high spirits die. It took a second for Artemis to realise that he was beaten, but he wasn't quick enough to do anything about it. Holly winked at the Irish boy, and then fired both of her blasters in unison. Two thuds were heard as her targets fell to the ground.

"And I am the winner!" Holly yelled her voice victorious. "That's two nights in a row! You guys suck!"

Artemis groaned and pulled off his helmet. Instantly, he was transported back into his living room at Fowl Manor. Beside him, Holly and Mulch both pulled off their virtual reality helmets. Mulch was panting.

"Eurgh. I gotta get in shape." The dwarf groaned and fell back into a pile of cushions.

Holly was tapping the controls. "High scores! I'll put our names in…"

Artemis grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and then returned to the living room. He looked up at the TV and frowned.

**HOLLY……………1000**

**MULCH…………….608**

**ARTY…………………570**

"Arty?" The boy inquired.

Holly winked. "It's cute. I had to do that, 'cause you can only enter up to five letters."

Artemis sighed and sat down on the couch. "Whatever you like."

Mulch groaned. "I'm beat. All this stealing from the rich and giving to the art galleries is wearing me out. Plus all this training…" He groaned again. "It's killin' me.

"But look on the bright side." Holly laughed, "Both you and Artemis are starting to get _muscles._"

"Maybe Artemis is," replied Mulch sulkily, "But I've still got a lot of extra baggage." He patted his bulging stomach fondly.

Artemis nodded his head. "I feel a lot fitter than I used to be, even though I'm still not really in shape. At least I can run a few metres without passing out."

Mulch yawned. "Well, I'm feeling sleepy. Come on my darling wife, let's go home."

Holly scowled at him. "Remember, Mulch, we're not actually married. And when we're only around Artemis there's no need to call me your wife."

Mulch grinned. "I know. We're posing as a married couple of mud-people so we could rent out that crappy apartment. But it's so fun to call you… _sweetie. _OUCH!_"_

Mulch rubbed his arm where Holly had punched him while the elf casually put on her jacket.

"It was fun tonight, Artemis." Holly smiled. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

Artemis frowned. "I have school, remember?"

"Oh, right. Well, we could come over tomorrow night?"

Artemis shook his head. "No, mother and father want to have a family dinner tomorrow night. But they're going to France on Wednesday and they'll be gone for two weeks. Father has a business meeting or something." Artemis smiled his vampire smile. Holly couldn't help grinning back. That smile meant that Artemis had a plan for them to get up to mischief. Artemis continued. "So come over on Thursday morning."

"But Artemis!" Holly said, with mock concern. "You have school on Thursday morning."

Artemis sighed. "Oh dear. Well, I hope I can catch up on all the work."

-----

Foaly rubbed his eyes tiredly. It just wasn't fun working the night shift when you were all alone. Now, when Holly had been around… that was fun! They had swingy chair races, looked up rude words in the dictionary and danced around to mud-people's 80's music. It had been great…

But now Holly was gone, and Foaly missed her really badly. Of course, he did get to talk to her on the phone quite often. Still, without Holly, the office just didn't seem as bright and happy. And without Commander Root? Foaly shuddered. No one really liked Commander Sool, but they put up with him. Luckily, Sool was on vacation for the next few weeks, and Trouble was the acting Commander. Trouble was doing a damn good job as Commander, and Foaly hoped that the Council would appoint Trouble in the position permanently, though he doubted it would happen.

The centaur clambered off his specially modified swingy chair and trotted over to the coffee machine. It was nearing close to three in the morning and Foaly was ready for bed. But he had almost completed upgrading of the LEP's security system and he didn't want to go home until it was finished. After a few more minutes of entering codes and slurping coffee, the program was completed. All Foaly had to do now was press ENTER, and the system would be working all over the LEP buildings.

Suddenly, the red warning lights were flashing and the alarms were sounding. Foaly tapped furiously on his computer and a warning screen appeared. Haven had been… pinged? No, it was impossible. It had to be a bug. And once Foaly activated the new security system, the warnings would cease.

He hit ENTER.

Nothing happened.

So Haven really had been pinged…

A new email popped up and automatically opened itself. Foaly was about to close the email when he realised it was from an unknown address. The message itself… Foaly's eyes widened as he read, and he quickly picked up the telephone.

The message said… _'We can see you, fairies.' _

-----

Meanwhile, Holly and Mulch were walking down the dark streets to their new apartment. Holly was enjoying the cool evening breeze when she heard Mulch chuckle under his breath.

"What?" she asked, curiously.

Mulch grinned and pointed to a woman in a red dress walking on the opposite side of the road. "That's no lady."

Holly giggled. "No way! How can you tell?"

"Her boobs are lopsided. They're totally fake."

"Mulch!" Holly giggled again. "You're terrible!" Holly's phone began to ring and she answered it.

"Hello?" she grinned when she recognised Foaly's voice. "Foaly! Good timing. You'll never believe it, Mulch and I just walked past a man dressed up as a woman!"

Foaly neighed impatiently on the other end of the phone."I wouldn't be at all surprised if a talking donkey flew past you at the moment. Haven was pinged. We're going into lockdown in thirty seconds."

"You're _what?_" Holly stopped dead in her tracks, her heart beating hard in her chest. "What happened, Foaly?" Mulch has stopped also, and was watching Holly talk with growing concern.

"Holly, we don't have much time. I only have two clues as to who pinged us. Number one, my computer picked up a signal from Rome, Italy. Number two, they sent us an email."

"What does it say?"

"It says…" Foaly shuddered. "It says 'We can see you, fairies.'"

Holly's blood went cold. "Foaly... What does that mean?"

"It means, Holly, that a human has discovered us. And it's bad. Very bad." Foaly continued, speaking hurriedly. "Holly, stick close to Artemis. We're going to need his help. You need to figure out who pinged us, and stop them. Your best bet would be to g-" The phone cut out and the line went dead.

Holly shut the cell phone with shaking hands. "Haven is under lockdown."

"WHAAT!" exclaimed Mulch, "Lockdown? But that means-"

Holly nodded. "We've been discovered by humans. The entire existence of the fairy race is now at stake." Holly felt weak all of a sudden, and sat down on the curb with her head in her hands. They were silent for a few moments when Mulch suddenly spoke.

"Holly, you fool. You left our window open."

Holly looked up and squinted across the street. Their apartment was on the third floor, and sure enough, the window was open. "I didn't leave it open. You're the one who needed some fresh air."

"But I definitely shut it before we left. Remember, I accidentally slammed it shut and you yelled at me."

Holly looked up quickly. "That's right. But if I didn't leave it open, and you didn't leave it open…"

"Then who left it open?" Mulch finished.

The pair looked at each other for a moment, and then sprinted across the street to the front door.

Holly was there first. "It's unlocked. Not a good sign." She bolted inside and began climbing the stairs. Behind her, Mulch was panting. "Someone else from the apartment might have left it open." He wheezed.

Holly seriously doubted it. "Mulch, the Crystal… What if it's been stolen?"

"I knew we should have left it at Artemis' house."

Holly scowled and jumped up a few more stairs. "His parents were home, remember? It was a little tricky to sneak a bloody huge crystal in when they were waiting at the front door."

They had reached the second floor. The charred remains of a door blocked the stairs. "D'arvit!" Holly swore, "Mulch, that's our door!" She jumped over the blackened door and ran up the stairs to the third floor. Sure enough, number 9's door was nowhere to be found and Holly could see that the inside of the apartment did not look pretty. She entered, picking up a lamp on her way in to use as a weapon.

"Who's there?" Holly called, "Get the hell out of our apartment!" She flicked the light switch on, but there didn't seem to be anyone around. Holly walked around the apartment, kicking open doors and cupboards. Mulch followed cautiously behind her. However, after a few minutes it was clear that whoever had been in the apartment had left.

Holly stepped gingerly around their possessions that were strewn all over the floor and made her way towards the faux fireplace. Her stomach was sick. The covering over the fireplace was gone. And so was the Crystal. Holly fell to her knees before the fireplace.

"It's gone." All the months of planning, that stressful night when they had only just managed to steal it… and now it had been stolen from _them_.

"Someone knew it was here." Stated Mulch matter-of-factly. "Nothing else was taken, and they specifically stole the Crystal. I think-"

"Wait. Shh." Holly was on her knees before the fireplace, and she noticed something out of place. Shuffling forward slightly, she pulled a white piece of folded paper from the debris.

With shaking hands, Holly unfolded the paper and cleared her throat.

"_We can see you, fairies."_ Holly looked at Mulch with horror and then jumped up. "Grab your things. We're not safe here."

"What?" exclaimed Mulch, "What do you mean?"

Holly was running around the room, throwing things into a duffel bag. "Don't argue with me, Mulch. Someone knows we're here, and that someone is the same someone who pinged Haven. We've got to get out of here!"

Mulch obediently started packing while Holly flicked open her cell phone. She speed dialled Artemis.

The Irish boy had been just drifting off to sleep when his phone rang. His hand shot out of bed automatically and answered.

"Hello?" he mumbled tiredly.

"Artemis. We've got a situation. Get Butler, get weapons, and get to our apartment."

Instantly, Artemis was alert. "What happened?"

"We'll explain later, just hurry!" Holly hung up and Artemis quickly jumped out of bed and began dressing.

Meanwhile, Holly and Mulch were running down the stairs to the front door.

"Artemis is on his way." Holly called to Mulch as she grabbed the door handle. She turned, but it wouldn't budge. "What?" She tugged harder, but it wouldn't open. "How can we be locked in?" The elf peered through the glass to see a metal bar locking the door handle in place. Her blood ran cold. "They're still here. They've locked us in." Holly spun around. "Quick, back up the stairs."

"Back up?" groaned Mulch.

"Do it!" Holly roared. She bolted up the stairs as fast as her short legs would carry her and headed back into their apartment. She threw the duffel bag out of the window.

"What in Frond's name are you doing?" panted Mulch.

"The fire escape, you moron!" Holly climbed out of the window and perched precariously on the metal balcony. She kicked the emergency ladder and it fell to the ground with a crash. "Climb!" Holly ordered.

"Why me first?" Mulch muttered childishly. Holly pushed him over the balcony in response. The disgruntled dwarf began climbing quickly down the ladder. Holly swung the duffel bag over her shoulder and climbed down after him. All of a sudden, a laser bolt sizzled past Holly's left ear.

"Hurry, Mulch!" The pair jumped off the ladder. "Find cover!" Holly shouted. They ducked down low and ran across the street. More laser bolts were fired, but they dodged them and jumped behind a dumpster. Holly unzipped the duffel bag and pulled out two blasters. She chucked one to Mulch and then peered out from behind the bin.

The ex-Lower-Elements-Police-Officer scanned the dark street with growing fear, but she swallowed and tried to concentrate. A shadow moved on their balcony. Holly aimed the blaster and fired. Someone yelled, and a body dressed in black fell to the street. "Perfect." Holly smirked triumphantly. The dumpster was immediately surrounded by gunfire. "Come on Artemis, where are you?"

"I'm right behind you, actually."

Holly and Mulch jumped and spun around. Artemis and Butler had emerged from the alleyway behind them. Holly could see the Bentley parked in the shadows.

"Nice shot" Artemis acknowledged.

"What took you?" Holly muttered irately.

"We had to get past Mr and Mrs Fowl." Butler put in, scanning the street. He aimed and shot twice. Two thuds could be heard falling to the street. A high-pitched whistle sounded suddenly. On the signal, five people emerged from various hiding places on the street. They had no visible weapons. The lady in red from earlier emerged from an alley on the other side of the road. She smirked at them all and pulled off her blonde wig to reveal a shaven head. Beneath the long red dress were tight black pants and a black shirt. The now, 'he', pulled a gun out of his boot and lit a cigarette. Mulch poked Holly. "Told you he was no lady."

Butler, Artemis, Holly and Mulch all stepped out cautiously from behind their dumpster.

"What do you want?" Holly called boldly to the men dressed in black. The man in the middle, obviously the leader, began to laugh.

"We already have what we want." He replied, voice low and rough. The man pulled out a large blue crystal from the inside pocket of his long black coat. He held the crystal high in the air.

Butler swore. "They've got the Crystal."

"Give it back!" shouted Holly. "It's ours! You have no right to take it."

"Actually," replied the man, "It's ours. You stole it from us, just as we had planned."

The shocked faces of Artemis and the rest made the man laugh. "How rude of me, not introducing myself. I am the bounty hunter, Azrael and I have been hired to kill you. Let me explain from the very beginning. My master holds an immense grudge with you, Artemis Fowl, and has put a very inviting price on your head. A lot of research has been done on you, and this Crystal was specifically set up for you to steal. We know you like to steal things." Azrael laughed again. "But we also know that you have help, Artemis Fowl. Help of the magical kind."

Artemis was frozen in place, shocked out of his mind. Had he unknowingly put the Fairy People in danger again? The boy shook his head to regain his composure. They needed time. The group had been training all holidays and they had developed certain little signals that determined what move they should make. But they needed time… small talk then…

Artemis smiled knowingly. "Azrael. An interesting name."

Azrael nodded his head slightly in return.

The boy went on. "It means, 'Angel of Death', does it not? A fitting name for a bounty hunter."

"I chose it myself." The man replied. He looked at Artemis carefully with a sneer. "I was told that you have a way with words, young Mister Fowl. You think to distract me, but my attention will not be diverted." Azrael sneered again. "I will not play your little games, Mister Fowl."

Artemis' smile did not falter and instead he merely stared coolly at the bounty hunter.

Azrael smiled evilly. "You thought that you had beaten my master, but he also has help this time. This time, you are the one who is beaten." The bounty hunter pulled a blaster from within his coat and fired directly at Artemis. In an ordinary situation, Artemis would have been dead. But Azrael didn't know who he was dealing with.

In the split second when Azrael's hand was reaching into his coat, the group had sprung into action. Butler was the first to move. The bodyguard grabbed Artemis by the shoulders and threw them both to the ground. As the laser sliced through the air exactly where Artemis had been, Butler rolled to safety behind the dumpster and dragged the surprised boy with him. Meanwhile, Holly Short and Mulch were carrying out a little stunt of their own. As soon as the laser fired, Mulch dropped to his knees and Holly had jumped up onto his shoulders. He threw his blaster up into the air, and Holly deftly caught it. Now with a blaster in each hand, Holly fired shots at the assassins and jumped up into the air, doing a back flip and landing on the dumpster behind her, where she continued shooting. Holly was ordinarily a very good shot, but doing the flip put out her accuracy just slightly. Her bolts clipped three of the assassins on theirs legs and Azrael in the shoulder. When Azrael fell to the ground, the other assassins scattered. Holly shook her head. Pathetic. They clearly weren't able to fight without a leader, giving them directions.

Holly jumped to the ground, her blaster pointed directly at Azrael's head. "Who is your master? Who sent you here?" She pushed the gun into his temple.

"I'm afraid that information is classified." Azrael glared at her, and Holly shuddered. If looks could kill…

"Tell me, or I'll blow your brains out." She pushed the blaster in harder.

"Who my master is, and who I was sent by are two different people." Azrael muttered, "Beware the Dark Lady of the Forest."

"The Dark Lady?" Holly asked, confused, "Who the hell-"

But suddenly Azrael had twisted out of her way. Before Holly could act, a rope was thrown down from the roof above them and he had climbed to safety.

"D'arvit!" shouted Holly, repeatedly firing her blaster at Azrael. She was sure that she hit him in the leg, but he ignored the pain and continued climbing. Within seconds he had disappeared.

And to make matters worse it had started to rain.

Artemis stumbled out from behind the dumpster. "Holly! Are you alright?"

Holly nodded. "I'm fine. But I'm afraid Azrael got away."

Artemis grimaced. "We can deal with that later. I'm just glad that you are safe."

Above them thunder rumbled and lightning flashed. Water was now pouring down in torrents and everyone was getting positively soaked.

Holly groaned. "I had to be wearing this shirt too, right?" Artemis had been trying not to look. Holly's tight blue tank top was sticking to her slim yet shapely form, and it was making Artemis blush slightly with embarrassment.

"Come on," Artemis said, motioning to the Bentley, "We should go home."

"But what about our apartment?" asked Mulch, getting up off the ground and wiping the mud off his pants.

Butler shook his head. "You can't live there anymore. It's too dangerous. At least you'll have protection at Fowl Manor."

"But what about your parents?" inquired Holly, shivering slightly from the cold.

"Actually, it seems that luck is on our side." Artemis replied with a slight smile, "Mother and Father arrived home shortly after you left. But they had to pack their bags and leave again straight away. The date of father's meeting was moved to tomorrow, so they had to catch the plane tonight." Artemis' smile grew." So we've got the house to ourselves, and I needn't go to school tomorrow."

Butler frowned. "I really shouldn't let you skip school, Artemis."

"But it's useless anyway. I don't learn anything, and it simply stresses out my teachers." Artemis explained. "It's better for everyone if I don't go. Plus…" Artemis shuddered. "There's going to be a school _dance_ soon. I will _not_ be attending."

Holly sneezed.

Butler started back to the Bentley. "Come on, we'd better go or else you'll all catch colds." He rubbed his temples. "I'm actually not feeling too well, myself."

Holly sneezed again and Artemis took off his jacket and handed it to her. "Here, put it on."

Holly took the jacket with surprise. "Thankyou." She put it on gratefully, glad for the warmth. "I suppose I'm not used to the cold. Haven is quite hot."

Artemis grinned. "Yes, I'm sure it is. It must be because Haven's surrounded by _boiling molten lava_."

Holly returned the grin. "Yeah, maybe."


	2. Rest and Relaxation

**Chapter Two: Rest and Relaxation**

The group trudged wearily into Fowl Manor. Butler decided to make himself some hot soup and retire early as he still did not feel quite right.

"Being old really takes the strength out of you," Butler said with a tired sigh, "If I'm going to be able to protect you, Artemis, then I can't afford to get a cold."

Artemis patted Butler on the arm. "Take the night off, old friend. You deserve some rest and relaxation."

Mulch clapped his hands together with excitement. "Hey, so do we! I've had enough of all these freaky clues and assassins. I just want to eat and watch TV."

"I'm there!" exclaimed Holly with a grin, "I've never wanted to be lazy this much in my life!"

Butler grinned. "I'll leave you kids to it, then. Don't stay up too late."

Holly sneezed again as Butler retired to his room. "Artemis, is it all right if I have a shower and warm up?"

Artemis nodded. "Of course. Mulch, did you want one too?"

Mulch plonked himself in front of the gigantic fireplace. "Nah, I'm good here." He grabbed the widescreen television's remote control and flicked it on. A badly dubbed Atlantean comedy came on. "Hey, how come your TV picks up the fairy stations?" Mulch asked with surprise.

Artemis grinned. "A little present from Foaly, I daresay. I only came across the extra channels last week."

Mulch snorted with satisfaction. "Who cares where it came from; if I've got cable then I'm happy." He flicked through the channels. "Ooh, 'Married with Gremlins' is on!"

Holly rolled her eyes. "Well, he's set for the night."

Artemis was confused. Holly had explained that Haven had been pinged while they were in the car. So then… "If all communications from Haven have been shut down, why can I still pick up the fairy channels?"

"I'm surprised you needed to ask, Artemis." Holly smiled, "It's because our television networks are based in Atlantis, not Haven. Just because Haven is under a lockdown, doesn't mean that Atlantis is."

Artemis nodded with a smile, and then motioned for Holly to follow him up the massive sweeping staircase.

The carpet was soft and fluffy under Holly's bare feet and everything was meticulously clean and beautifully decorated. The boy stopped outside of a door.

"You can stay here for the night." Artemis said, turning the handle to one of Fowl Manor's numerous spare rooms.

Holly gasped. The room was huge, and what's more, there was a huge bed!

"It's King size!" Holly exclaimed with glee as she jumped on the bed and bounced on it with a slight giggle.

The elf had never had the room for anything bigger than a single bed before. Her apartment in Haven was tiny, even though the rent was steep, and her apartment with Mulch wasn't anything fancy either.

Artemis delicately raised an eyebrow and Holly stifled her laughter with an embarrassed cough.

"I presume you want to see the bathroom?" Holly nodded and Artemis led her through another door. "Each of our guest rooms has its own en suite."

"Nice" Holly said with a slight whistle, admiring the marble decorations.

"I'll leave you to it." Artemis said, turning to leave.

"Wait" said Holly, touching his arm. "I want to say thank you for allowing Mulch and I stay here tonight."

Artemis smiled. "It's no problem. I'm glad I could help."

Holly returned the smile. "I can't believe that I'm actually staying at your house willingly. If you had told me we'd be in this situation a few years ago, I would've laughed in your face!"

Artemis chuckled. "Times change, I suppose."

Holly looked into the boy's eyes, no longer cold but sparkling with humour. Times certainly had changed, and for the better. She took his hand. "I'm glad."

Artemis was slightly surprised by Holly's sudden affection. Once upon a time, Artemis Fowl and Holly Short had been arch enemies. But now, they were friends.

However, as Holly held Artemis' hand, he couldn't help feeling something else, something different. His hand tingled with an unfamiliar sensation. What was this strange feeling? Artemis blushed slightly. "Holly…" he began. But he had barely opened his mouth to continue before Holly gave an almighty sneeze.

Holly let go of his hand and the moment was gone.

"Sorry, Artemis." Holly said sheepishly. "I should probably change out of my wet clothes before I get a cold."

Artemis blushed and nodded. "I think I'll take a bath as well."

"Wait." Holly stopped Artemis again as he turned to leave. "Weren't you saying something?"

Artemis shook his head and made a dash for the door. "It's not important!" he called back, "I'll tell you later!" Artemis hurried out of her room and down the hall into his own.

-----

Ten minutes later after a hot shower had helped Artemis regain his composure; he was in his bedroom getting dressed. As he dressed, Artemis decided to listen to some music. Instead of the usual classical songs he enjoyed so much, he decided to put on a CD that Juliet had sent him from the USA. Apparently it was Indie-rock or something. Artemis thought most of the songs were unsophisticated and poorly written. However, there was one song that he liked. The lyrics…Artemis could relate to them. In fact, he thought that they described him slightly, in some strange way.

…_When there's nowhere else to run,  
Is there room for **one more son?**_

_  
…If you can hold on…  
…If you can hold on… _

…_**hold on**…_

_  
…I wanna stand up, I wanna let go,  
You know, you know - no you don't, you don't.  
I wanna **shine on in the hearts of men**,  
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand…_

_…Another head aches, another heart breaks,_

_I am **so much older than I can take**.  
And **my affection**, well it **comes and goes**,  
I need direction to **perfection**…no no no no…  
_

…_You gotta help me out…_

_  
…and when there's nowhere else to run,  
Is there room for one more son?  
These **changes** ain't **changing** **me**,  
The **cold-hearted boy I used to be**…_

_…Over and in, last call for **sin**  
While everyone's lost, the battle is won  
With all these things that I've done…_

_  
…**All these things that I've done**…  
_

Without knowing it, Artemis began quietly singing along. He sat there on the edge of his bed, eyes shut and singing when there was sudden clapping from the doorway. Artemis opened his eyes and jumped up with shock. Holly was leaning on the doorframe with a huge grin on her face.

"Not bad, mudboy. You should join a boy band"

Artemis blushed but stared back insolently. "I need to get a lock on my door."

The elf laughed and sat down on the bed next to him. Artemis suddenly realised what she was wearing and it was Holly's turn to blush.

"Butler gave it to me. It's a bit big, but I've got nothing else to wear." She explained quickly.

A 'bit big' was an understatement. Butler had given Holly one of his old t-shirts that Juliet had bought him several Christmases ago. It was too small for Butler, but on the slender elf it was as big as a dress, coming down about five inches above her knees. The short sleeves came down to her elbows and one of her shoulders was visible through the massive neckline. Artemis smiled. The shirt was white with big bold writing that read 'Kiss Me, I'm Irish'.

Artemis looked away with a slight blush forming. He had never seen Holly look so…human before. Sure, her pointed ears poked through her damp hair very visibly, but… she just looked so normal. Artemis had only ever seen Holly in her LEP suits, or other clothes that were ready for action. Never all 'bare arms and legs' like this. In fact, Artemis thought she looked very beautiful, but he wasn't about to tell her that. Mulch would never let him live it down.

Caught up in the moment, Artemis muttered. "I'm sorry…"

Holly was surprised. "What for?"

Artemis looked down at the floor. "For kidnapping you. It wasn't supposed to turn out like it did." He felt rather sick. "I never meant to hurt you, or make trouble for your people. I'm truly sorry."

Holly took his hands. "Artemis, you've helped the people more than you know. Maybe we were enemies in the beginning. And Frond knows, you did make it difficult for us to like you." She smiled. "But even though it took forever, we're friends now. I forgive you for the trouble you caused the people because you've saved our asses several times to make up for it."

Artemis was still upset. "But think of all the losses we've had. Commander Root, for one. I wish I could have done something to help him."

Holly turned away, tears forming in her eyes. Artemis continued, not realising the pain he was causing Holly by mentioning Root. "And I could have helped him! If I hadn't created the C-cube then you would have had no reason to mind wipe me. Then I could have been there for you, to save him."

Holly let go of Artemis' hands and wiped her eyes. Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks. "There was nothing any of us could have done. I know, Artemis, I was there."

Artemis hadn't meant to make Holly cry. He awkwardly patted her on the back, not knowing how to comfort her. All of a sudden, she had truly burst into tears.

"He was like a father to me, did you know that?" Holly sobbed, "I lost my father when I was young. As much as Root yelled at me, I respected him. I-I…I just…" she paused and took in a shuddering breath. "I just miss him so much…"

Artemis didn't really know what to say. "I'm sure that he thought of you as his daughter. I know that he cared about you."

Holly flung her arms around Artemis' neck and cried into his shoulder. Seeing her like this almost made Artemis cry himself. Holly was such a strong person, but she did not show her emotions often. Artemis guessed that she had been keeping this sadness inside of her and now it all had to come out.

The pair sat there together for a few moments. Holly's sobbing eventually ceased but she did not let go of Artemis. "Thanks" she said, her voice muffled by Artemis' shoulder. Holly took her head off his shoulder and looked into Artemis' eyes seriously, but she did not remove her arms from his neck.

"Thanks" Holly said again. She sniffed. "I really needed that. Thankyou for listening."

Artemis was embarrassed. "It's fine."

Holly was too close, only inches from his face and it made Artemis uncomfortable. His body was tingling from her touch. She was too close... Holly moved even nearer…Artemis was paralysed…their lips were almost touching…

"Ahem." There was a loud, obvious cough from the doorway.

Holly and Artemis jumped out of each others arms as if shocked by electricity. Artemis tumbled off the bed and onto the floor, landing with an undignified thump.

Mulch winked at them from the door. "I'm terribly sorry. Am I interrupting anything?"

Artemis and Holly blushed scarlet. "No!" they replied in unison.

Artemis' heart was beating so loud he though that even the fairy people below could hear it. Had they almost _kissed_?

Holly was mentally cursing herself. How could she have almost let that happen? Artemis was a human, for crying out loud! It was practically illegal, if not revolting! He had caught her in a moment of vulnerability and it would not happen again.

Mulch was grinning from ear to ear. "Well if you two love birds aren't busy…" he held up three boxes of pizza, a six-pack of cola and the DVD box set of the 'Lord of the Rings'. "The rest of it's downstairs!" Mulch giggled. "Let's have a sleepover!"

Artemis groaned. "I _really_ need a lock on my door…"

-----

"I don't want to eat anything, ever again." Mulch groaned and clutched his bulging stomach.

The three friends were lying on the carpet in front of Artemis's massive television set, with the remains of their dinner strewn around them. There were empty pizza boxes and cans of cola scattered about, four empty bowls of popcorn and loose kernels ground into the carpet, and the wrappers from two family sized blocks of chocolate.

Artemis reached out his hand as far as he could from where he was lying, but couldn't quite grasp the remote control. Lazy, full of food, and too tired to get up and grab it, Artemis reverted to using his foot and kicked the remote closer. He then flicked off the television.

They had managed to get through the entire trilogy of 'Lord of the Rings' by skipping many of the long battle scenes. Holly had stayed glued to the screen, blushing at Frodo. Even now, Holly was clutching the DVD for 'The Fellowship of the Ring' and smiling at his picture.

Artemis nudged Mulch and they both made kissing noises at Holly. She looked up and scowled at them, but she was still blushing slightly.

"Holly loves Frodo" said Mulch in an annoying sing-song voice.

"I do not!" retorted Holly

"No," said Artemis earnestly, "She doesn't love Frodo"

Holly smiled at Artemis.

"No," continued Artemis suppressing a grin, "She loves _Elijah__Wood_."

Mulch erupted in guffaws of laughter while Holly blushed again. "It's just-" Holly spluttered, "Well, he's quite good looking!"

Artemis and Mulch continued laughing at the poor elf. She continued, trying to turn the conversation back in her favour. "He's got these big blue eyes." In spite of herself, Holly started to smile dreamily. Mulch fluttered his eyelids at Artemis and they both sniggered.

Mulch poked Artemis. "You better watch out, mudboy." Mulch said with a wink, "You've got eyes just like that pretty boy. She'll be in love with you next."

Artemis laughed along with Mulch again, but couldn't help thinking that he wouldn't mind that too much…

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**Author's notes:**

The song that Artemis sings is called 'All These Things That I've Done' and it's by one of my favourite bands, 'The Killers.' I recommend that you downlo… I mean _buy_ it, as it's a very good song!

P.S

I love Elijah Wood. But seriously, who doesn't?


	3. Back in Black

**Chapter Three: Back in Black**

The manor slept late the next morning. Artemis felt groggy when he awoke at around ten thirty, feeling strange and disorientated from waking up so late. Usually, the Irish boy was up at five am sharp, and considered a 'sleep in' to be five thirty. Holly and Butler were awake a few hours before Artemis was, and began to make breakfast. Mulch could have happily slept in til noon, if Holly hadn't dragged him downstairs to eat his share of pancakes (then Holly wished she hadn't, as Mulch ate not only his own share, but a portion of everyone else's…)

While Artemis, Holly and Mulch cleaned up the kitchen, Butler called Juliet, his sister on the telephone. He had already phoned her once earlier in the morning and explained their situation. Juliet had promised to catch the first plane she could find. Butler had decided to call again, to find out if she had managed to find a plane, and see what time she would be. Juliet replied that she should be arriving some time in the afternoon, around three o'clock.

With time to burn until Juliet arrived, Artemis suggested they try to decode the mysterious clues. Artemis was itching to make sense of 'The Dark Lady of the Forest'. Who was this mysterious new foe? And Azrael had spoken of two masters. Did that mean this 'Dark Lady' was not working alone?

It was almost eleven thirty when the group retired to the downstairs study. There was a sudden change in the air. It had been light, happy. Now it had become serious. Holly, who had been spending enough time with Artemis to read his moods, noticed a slight change come over the boy. He was in 'work' mode, calm and focussed, ready to unravel the secrets that surrounded them.

Artemis closed his eyes, thinking hard. "So, all we know is that Haven should beware the 'The Dark Lady of the Forest.'"

Butler frowned. "Whoever that is."

Artemis shook his head. "Azrael made a fatal mistake telling us the nickname of the one who sent him. This is a strong clue." Artemis turned to Mulch. "Mulch, could you please retrieve my laptop. It is in the Bentley."

Mulch nodded but stalked grumpily out of the room. "Make the dwarf do all the work."

Artemis ignored Mulch and continued.

"I have on my laptop, a very high tech translator and decoder. We enter the mysterious nickname, and it gives us possibilities for a proper name. Then, it uses the internet to cross-reference this list of names, and see if any of them have a criminal record, or if there is any background information on them which could be significant. The name is most likely a code for something. And if it's a code, I will crack it."

Holly smiled. "You really haven't changed a bit."

Artemis returned the smile. "No, I have changed. But for the better, I'm sure."

Mulch returned with the laptop and Artemis immediately booted it up.

"Could you bring us some tea, Mulch?" Holly asked sweetly.

Mulch looked at the elf with incredulity. "What am I, your personal slave or something?" He sulked off to the kitchen grumbling to himself. "Mulch, make the tea. Mulch, get the post. Clean the house, make the beds, cook our dinner…"

Artemis entered a few codes, and then handed the laptop to Butler.

Artemis looked at his bodyguard seriously as he handed it over. "The same way we searched for father."

Butler gave him a curt nod then started typing furiously, his hands a blur over the keyboard.

The room was strangely quiet for a long time. Mulch brought in a tray of tea and biscuits, so they all sat quietly sipping tea while Butler typed furiously. For three hours, all that could be heard were the keys of the laptop clicking away and the slight clink of porcelain cups.

"ARTEMIS!" Butler called croakily. Finally, he had some matches.

Artemis was by his side in a flash with Holly close behind.

"Match?" the boy asked. Holly looked down at Artemis' hand and saw that he had his fingers crossed, and she thanked him for that. At least mud-boy really did care what happened to Haven.

"Yes," Butler said turning the laptop around so that the pair could see.

Artemis stared at the list of five names. Five was actually a very good number. Artemis had expected a lot more, and had imagined them pulling all-nighters, sifting through hundreds and hundreds of names.

The young Irish read the names aloud.

"Damien Forrester, Ma'aya Kinomoto, Terrah Nero, Kirra Woods, and Eddie Treesong."

Holly glared at the screen. _All possible suspects…_

Artemis was frowning also. "Well, we can mark off Damien Forrester and Eddie Treesong."

"What?" Holly said with surprise, "How come?"

"Because they are males," Artemis said with exasperation, "and we are looking for the Dark _Lady_ of the Forest."

Holly rolled her eyes. "Fine. No need to be such a darn smarty-pants."

Artemis ignored her and focussed on the task at hand. Butler silently removed Forrester and Treesong off their list.

_Ma'aya Kinomoto…Terrah Nero…Kirra Woods…_

Artemis studied the list carefully and Holly shut up. If anyone could figure out who the culprit was, it was Artemis, and she wasn't going to stop him from saving her home.

"Terrah Nero," Artemis muttered to himself. "An Italian name"

"What?" Holly interrupted with excitement, "Italian?"

Artemis glanced at Holly with curiosity, "What's your interest in Italy?"

Holly realised she had forgotten to tell Artemis all Foaly had told her.

"Foaly told me that when Haven was pinged he got a signal from Rome."

Artemis nodded and went silent. After a while he spoke. "In Italian, Terrah would mean earth and Nero would mean black. It could be a possible match."

Holly's stomach churned with anticipation. "But what about the other names?"

Artemis studied them carefully. "The first name is Japanese. I think Kinomoto has something to do with trees, but I'm not entirely sure. I'm not fluent in Japanese."

"And the last name?" Holly prompted.

Artemis stared at the last name. Kirra Woods. Woods would mean a forest. But Kirra? Artemis had a nagging feeling that he knew what that name met, he just couldn't quite remember.

"I'm not sure." Artemis said with a sigh. "I'd have to do further searching. However, I think that Nero looks promising. So let's see if we can cross Kinomoto off the list, eh Butler?"

Butler obediently opened the file on Ma'aya Kinomoto and all four occupants of the room moved closer to read about _Japan's Most Wanted_.

Artemis read faster than anyone and reached the bottom of the page in a flash. The last line got Artemis' attention.

"_Kinomoto was apprehended in July, 2001 in Kyoto and currently resides in one of Japan's most secure prisons."_

"No match." Artemis said with a sigh, "Kinomoto couldn't have pinged Haven from Italy if she was stuck in a cell in Japan."

Butler removed Kinomoto from the list. "Next, Nero." Butler said opening the file.

Artemis scanned the page of text with a feeling of growing excitement. "Terrah Nero was born in the twenties, so-"

Mulch jumped out of his seat with a cry, "So, unless the villain is a deranged evil zombie with a taste for fairy brains-"

Artemis gave Mulch a pained look and cut him off. "-this means our culprit is-"

"Kirra Woods." The group breathed in unison.

"Of course!" Artemis said jumping up with enthusiasm, "The name 'Kirra' means 'Dark' or 'Dark woman' so it would be obvious for our foe to assume the identity 'Dark Lady of the Forest."

Mulch frowned. "But why would she choose a name so obvious?"

Butler had been reading Kirra Wood's opened file. "Maybe because she has nothing to hide." He pointed at the screen. "She doesn't care who finds her."

Holly read the screen growing nervous. Kirra Woods was only sixteen years old, slightly older than Artemis. She was an English girl who was said to be highly ambitious from and early age. Her parents and sister had died from a house fire when she was only three and so she had lived in an orphanage in Italy until she was nine. A wealthy couple caught up in the Italian Mafia had adopted young Kirra and her life of crime had begun.  
Kirra had a criminal record to rival Artemis. The only differences were that although Artemis scammed a lot of people out of their money, he had never killed anyone. Kirra seemed to enjoy killing people more than she enjoyed stealing their money. She had a high IQ, meaning that her intelligence was almost on par with Artemis'. However, Kirra was also cold and ruthless, her nasty disposition far worse than anything Artemis had been, or ever could be.

Opposing this new foe was going to be the hardest thing any of them had ever done.

Artemis frowned, sinking into a puffy chintz armchair. The others followed suit. No one spoke for a few minutes, even the usually talkative Mulch.

Suddenly, a beeping noise broke the silence. Artemis looked at Butler, who was studying a device around his wrist. "The security alarm is going off" explained Butler, getting out of the armchair he was sitting in and heading for the door. "It's most likely not an issue. Remember last time it went off? The strong winds had blown the sprinklers off course and they were watering the alarm." Butler sighed, "I'll go check the security screens." He had just moved through the door when a loud crash sounded from the entrance hall.

"Not an issue." Mimicked Mulch as the entire group ran out to the hallway. Holly groaned as they came face to face with ten men dressed in black. In the middle stood their leader, Azrael.

"Not you guys again." Holly sighed. Without another word, the hallway erupted in battles. Butler grabbed two assassins by the collar and smashed their heads together. Mulch dropped his head down low and rammed another man in the groin. Holly and Artemis worked as a team, standing back to back and blasting any men who tried to attack them.

Artemis was silently thanking God that his group had been training all holidays. Otherwise it was unlikely that they could go up against a group of _skilled_ _assassins_. But Butler could kick anyone's ass, Holly had trained with the fairy police and Mulch… well, Mulch had picked up some unorthodox moves from his life as a convicted felon. Artemis was now a lot fitter than he used to be, and although he was nowhere near as skilled as the rest of his group, at least Artemis now knew how to fire a blaster without fainting.

Soon the number of assassins was down from ten to four. Only one of the black swathed bodies on the ground was actually dead. Three were knocked out and one had passed out from blood loss. The last man was completely uninjured, but was still clutching his groin from where Mulch had head-butted him.

Artemis and his group weren't without injuries. Artemis had a long, bloody gash on his cheek and a sprained ankle, Holly's shoulder was bleeding and Mulch had a black eye forming. Butler came out relatively unscathed, but sported a nasty bite mark on his arm.

Azrael and three of his men advanced slowly towards Artemis and the rest. With horror, Butler realised that he had let the assassins draw them into a corner and now they had no way to escape, and were in a bad position to fight. Butler felt sick in his stomach. He just wasn't the man he used to be, and he knew that he couldn't protect Artemis like he used to.

Azrael smiled evilly. "There's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide." He laughed quietly. "I will have you this time, Artemis Fowl." Azrael raised his gun once more. Artemis shut his eyes, awaiting the shot.

…But it never came… Artemis apprehensively opened his eyes to find Azrael, swaying on his feet. The bounty hunter's eyes were wide and there was blood dribbling from his mouth. Artemis realised, with shock, that there was an arrow sticking out of his back.

Juliet Butler stood at the front door, an ornate crossbow in her hands. In a split-second, the remaining assassins had scattered, and escaped through the open door. Two assassins lay dead on the floor, and Azrael was about to join them. The bounty hunter moaned and collapsed, dead, onto the marble floor.

"Nice shot" Artemis told Juliet weakly, and then he fell to his knees and threw up.

Juliet frowned as she hung the ornamental crossbow back up on the wall. "I see I arrived just in time." She walked over to Butler and they hugged. Butler clutched his sister, tears slightly forming in his eyes. "Thank you, Juliet."

Holly helped Artemis to his feet. "Um." The elf tried a shaky smile. "How about a cup of tea?"

-----

Half an hour later the group had all had their wounds fixed up and drank a cup of tea or two to settle their nerves. Now came the planning phase.

"What the heck are we going to do?" Holly asked glumly, "Without any contact from Haven, we're doomed. We need Foaly's help."

"I agree" Artemis answered, "But the fact of the matter is that we do not have Foaly this time. For once, we are truly on our own. And we will have to simply do the best that we can."

Holly gave Artemis a small smile. She was happy that he was being so positive for a change. They would need to be optimistic if they were ever going to save Haven. Artemis had changed so much from the cruel manipulative individual that he had been when he and Butler fairynapped Holly. Sure, he was still a conniving-contrary-know-it-all-brat, but at least he wasn't an _evil_-conniving-contrary-know-it-all-brat.

The room was silent, as everyone tried to come up with a plan. At least, Butler, Holly and Artemis tried to come up with a plan. Juliet and Mulch were taking it in turns to tap each other on the shoulder and blame it on Butler.

Holly jumped out of her chair and started pacing the room while the others watched miserably and she muttered more to herself than to the other occupants of the room.

"What we need is a safe path to Italy right? I bet there'll be agents posted at all the airports ready to get us if we try to fly to Rome. So we need fairy help."

Artemis shook his head. "But we can't contact the fairies because Haven is under a lockdown…"

Holly nodded. "And we're definitely going to need fairy gadgets. I could use a pair of wings, we'll need a basic tools kit… we need weapons… It would be suicide to enter Woods' domain without backup."

Mulch stood up. "Well, I'll leave the thinking to you guys. I'm gonna go watch TV. _'All My Larva'_ is about to start on the Atlantean Network."

Holly spun around and looked at Mulch with eagerness. "That's it, Mulch! You're a genius!"

"I am?" Mulch asked with confusion. "Oh yeah…" He suddenly looked proud. "Of course I am."

Artemis worked it out right away and grinned. "Of course, Holly!" Holly and Artemis shared a knowing look.

Juliet looked confused. "What is it? What's going on?"

Holly grinned. "Get the car started and head for the docks. I'll explain on the way."


	4. Under the Sea

Under the sea... under the seaaaaa... there'll be no accusations, just friendly crustaceans, under the seaaaaa!

If you don't read and review, you're a communist!

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**Chapter Four: Under the Sea**

"Tell me again why I am doing this?"

"You're doing it because I told you to, mud boy, now hurry it up."

"Ah."

Holly sighed dramatically and finished strapping on her wetsuit. The group was on a boat in the middle of the Irish Sea. Juliet, Mulch and Holly were already suited up and ready for action. Artemis, however, was still struggling to put his wetsuit on. Because he didn't want to embarrass himself by asking for help, Artemis was buying some time by asking stupid questions.

"Right," said the boy, "And tell me again what your plan is?"

Holly sighed again. "You guessed my plan straight away, and I already filled you in three times. For a genius, you're pretty stupid."

Artemis tried, and failed to reach the zipper on his back. "I may be a genius," he panted, exhausted from his efforts, "However my memory has been failing me lately," Artemis said dryly, "I'm sure you understand. Fill me in again."

Holly sighed derisively at the boy and zipped him up. "We're going underwater to the only fairy headquarters that are open. Atlantis."

Artemis smiled. The word 'Atlantis' was music to his ears. Artemis had always known that the lost city of Atlantis had to be real. It was simply a matter of location. It made sense that the city would be near Ireland and even better sense, now that Artemis knew of the fairy folk, that this city would be one almost identical to Haven. Albeit, underwater and filled with coral.

"Although Atlantis is a fairy city," Holly continued, "Its security precautions are different to those of Haven. When the mud people drove us fairies underground, those who lived in Atlantis simply used magic to sink their island beneath the sea. Just because Haven is under lockdown, doesn't necessarily mean that Atlantis is as well. I had forgotten, until Mulch mentioned the Atlantean channel on TV. And then I just remembered, unless there was a security threat underwater, Atlantis wouldn't be under a lockdown."

"Ready?" Juliet asked enthusiastically

Holly and Mulch nodded and Artemis weakly followed suit.

"But wait, "Artemis said with alarm, "Where is Butler?"

"Here, Artemis." A deep voice said from behind. Artemis spun around to find Butler still in his Armani suit and tie.

"Why aren't you dressed?" Artemis asked, "What's going on?"

Butler sighed. "Artemis, although my fitness level has improved greatly, my stamina is still not as good as it used to be. I'm not coming."

Artemis froze. "But, you have to come. You are a part of the team."

Holly placed a gentle hand on Artemis' shoulder. "Maybe Butler should sit this one out."

Juliet ran over and gave her brother a hug. "I can do it, Dom. Don't worry about it."

Butler smiled. "I'll be a better use to everyone by staying at home. I can answer the phone if your parents ring, right Artemis?"

Artemis nodded numbly.

Butler continued, "You can call me at any time if there's something I can do. You'll be fine, Artemis."

Artemis nodded again. He knew that this was the right decision. Butler was not the same man he used to be. It was safer this way. And Artemis knew he was in good hands with Butler's sister Juliet. But Butler was Artemis' friend, and the boy hated to see him left behind.

"Alright," Artemis said. "Let's go."

Mulch giggled. "Yo, let's do this thing!" He and Juliet high-fived each other.

Holly strapped on her helmet, carefully climbed over the side of the boat and lowered herself into the water. She opened the visor. "Just follow me and you won't get lost. I know where we're going." She closed the visor and floated, waiting for the others.

Artemis, Mulch and Juliet strapped on their helmets and followed Holly, lowering themselves into the murky depths.

The quartet dived under the waves and slowly swam further and further underwater. It was dark and eerie down below and the small amount of light they were seeing with came from the mottled sunlight above. It grew darker as they swam deeper under the sea.

A fish hurriedly swam past Artemis' visor and for a moment he was distracted, watching as the fish's glistening fins propelled it through the water.

Suddenly, Artemis was pushed from behind roughly. He turned to find Holly, and by her body language and rude hand gestures, she was mad at him, as usual. Although the helmet muffled her voice, Artemis could easily get the gist of her meaning.

"Stop fooling around, mud boy, hurry it up."

The fairy lit a flare and swam a little further down where she stopped. From her belt, Holly took a small electronic device. Foaly had invented it years ago and it was a necessary piece of equipment for any LEP officer. At the moment, Atlantis was invisible and sealed shut. The device Holly held was basically a remote control for the door, much like the ones you'd use to open your garage. The remote would send out a signal to Atlantis and the city would immediately become visible, allowing them to enter.

Holly had explained earlier that the only reason humans hadn't found Atlantis was because it was invisible. Divers in this area would see nothing, thanks to a globe around the city made from material that used the same principles as cam-foil. However, this globe was waterproof and wouldn't short out if it became wet. Which was lucky, the city being underwater and all.

If a diver came too close to Atlantis he would be shot with a memory ray that made him slightly disorientated for a moment. The diver would forget why he was underwater and return to the surface with slight confusion.

A similar process was used for a Fairy Honeymoon Resort in the Atlantic Ocean, where many boats 'seemingly' disappeared. Truthfully, a few of the memory rays in stations rarely used any more had become waterlogged and faulty, and started shooting at entire boats by accident. The boats simply floated around for a while in disorientation before reappearing some time later. The confused sailors in the Atlantic Ocean had named the area 'The Bermuda Triangle'.

These cloaking techniques, although simple, were effective. No human had found Atlantis in the last thousand years or so.

Holly fumbled with the beeper for a moment and Artemis felt rather than saw the device send out its signal. She replaced the beeper on her belt and swam further off, holding the flare high above her head. Juliet, Mulch and Artemis followed closely behind.

Holly waved the flare around a bit and suddenly there was a blinding flash of light. Artemis blinked the stars out of his eyes and when he opened them again, a massive city had appeared seemingly out of thin air. Or thin water. Or...whatever…

The breath caught in Artemis' throat. The city was beautiful. It was exactly like he had imagined, as if it had been pulled straight out of a fairytale with its tall towers, turrets and shining lights. The buildings were made out of some pearly material and the city sparkled in white brilliance. Artemis saw Holly grinning at the city behind her visor and even Juliet and Mulch's faces were transfixed into a state of rapture. Mulch was the first to swim towards the city, and Holly had to nudge the two humans to get their attention. The group all dived down through the water to a little door in the transparent globe.

Holly motioned for everyone to come right up close to the little door, and then she pulled the beeper from her belt again, waving it in front of a blinking red sensor situated next to the door. Suddenly machinery behind the door whirred to life and it was thrown open, sucking the four divers inside with such force that it took their breath away. A huge torrent of water followed them into a tiny room, not much larger than a good-sized closet. The door slammed shut again and the water drained away, leaving them lying faced down on the floor in a state of shock. Holly was the first to recover. The fairy pulled off her headgear in fits of laughter.

"I'd forgotten the rush when you come through the door." She exhaled heavily with a laugh, "No one really uses this entrance any more, mostly they use the underground chutes from Haven." Holly laughed slightly again then pulled off her wetsuit, revealing her dry suit underneath. "Hurry up, then. We've got no time to waste."

The others followed the fairy, quickly pulling of her headgear and wet suits, and storing them carefully away in a sealed cupboard built into the wall. Holly walked to the second door and was about to open it when she hesitated. "This is a little awkward," she said nervously, "Clearly, you've already experienced first hand how much the People despise Humans, right?"

Artemis rolled his eyes. "To quote Juliet," he replied disdainfully, "duh"

Holly nodded and grimaced. "Well you see, the fairies that live in Atlantis kind of…" she paused, choosing her words carefully, "…hate you a lot more." She rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed.

Mulch snorted. "Oh well done, Holly. Very subtle."

Juliet looked astonished. "How could the fairies down here hate us more than those in Haven?" she said with bewilderment, "That's impossible! The Haven fairies want to kill us."

Mulch grimaced. "Exactly. So just think how happy these guys will be when they see your round ears."

Artemis and Juliet exchanged looks.

"Should I ask?" Artemis inquired.

Holly looked at the pale human and sighed. "Probably not. But I'll tell you anyway." Holly cleared her throat and paused for a long moment, thinking of what to say. Artemis could smell a war story coming on.

The elf sighed again and then began her tale. "Back a long time ago, Atlantis was a beautiful city that resided on an island. The races of fairies that lived in Atlantis were a little different from the mainland fairies. The Atlantean fairies, being so close to the ocean, all had various aquatic magical powers, like fins and gills to breathe underwater.

The city was made like your regular water fun park, like you humans build today. Instead of pathways and roads they had tunnels filled with water and rivers all over the place. Practically all of the fairies that lived there had long tails that they used everyday. It was absolutely beautiful and of course, the city was very prosperous." Holly glared at Artemis and stopped.

Mulch picked up from where she left off. "But of course, you mud people weren't content to live side by side with the People. Humans who lived in caves were easy to deal with. But as time passed, humans were getting smarter and smarter. Eventually, you realised that the People had magic."

Holly cut in. "And that we could use this magic to heal, to fly, to outlive the humans by centuries." Holly glared harder at Artemis, "So what do you think happened?"

Artemis knew, of course. It didn't take a genius to figure it out, even though Artemis was one. However, he kept his silence, for safety reasons. Holly was mad. And Artemis knew not to mess with Holly when she was mad.

Holly eyed the humans with anger and hurt. "What happened was inevitable. The humans wanted fairies to solve all of their problems with magic. But that's not how magic works. We were given our powers from the earth to use in peaceful ways. You can't use magic to bring back the dead nor can you use magic to win a war. It just doesn't work that way. But you humans couldn't understand." Holly's angry had subsided and she was a little bit teary eyed.

Mulch went on. "When the People tried to discuss the matter with the humans, it all ended in tragedy. That's another story, but just let me say that many fairies died. You gotta remember that we weren't as technologically advanced as we are now. At that point we were still using the gifts that nature gave us, like wings."

At this, Holly sighed, "Real wings. All elves had wings back then."

"Anyway," Mulch continued, "we didn't have the lasers and whatnot that we have now. So with most of the People dead, and no way to defend ourselves, there was only one option left." Mulch eyed the humans carefully, "And that was, retreat. Most of us fled into tunnels beneath the ground. And the fairies in Atlantis used their magic to sink their island beneath the waves. And we've lived below land pretty peacefully ever since. Of course, we've had to push Haven lower and lower as you humans advance and want to explore."

Juliet nodded. "Yes, but why do the fairies of Atlantis hate us so much?"

"I'm getting to that." Holly said briskly, "As time passed on, the fairies of Haven lost the power of flight. The wings that we used to fly with everyday were now useless. There was no need to fly underground, so evolution simply discarded them." Holly glared at the humans again.

"But for the Atlantean people, it was much worse." Explained Mulch, "They had tails and junk, yeah? So they used to swim around the entire ocean. But because humans took over the oceans, they're confined to the one small city. The fairies in Atlantis are packed up like sardines, excuse the pun. Trouble is, evolution decided not to take away their tails, but it did take away their gills. So the Atlantean's are left with a conundrum. They can't breathe underwater, but they can't walk on dry land. Some have their tails surgically removed. But most are forced to wear plastic bubbles filled with water around their lower halves, and use machines to get around."

Holly sighed. "Humans took away all their freedom. They're much worse off than the fairies in Haven."

Artemis and Juliet were silent. Humans had a lot to answer for.

"I'm sorry," Juliet said meekly, "But that was a long time ago. If I could go back and stop us from doing that, I would. But I can't, Holly."

Holly smiled. "I know you would. I think you and Artemis have proven yourselves worthy of being friends to the People, even if our friendship started off of the wrong foot."

"So, what is the problem?" Artemis asked, "If we are friends to the people, why do we have to be so cautious in Atlantis?"

Holly rubbed her temples. "It's complicated, Artemis. The fairies at the Atlantean LEP Headquarters won't care about you. They know all about the goblin incident, and how you helped us. But the civilians won't be so kind. They hold their grudges."

Artemis spoke again. "But I've been in Haven city before. I'm still alive."

"In case you've forgotten," Holly said sarcastically, "you were actually unconscious at the time, so that doesn't count. There was almost a riot in the street when we carried you out of the car and the fairies on the street saw you."

Juliet frowned. "So what are you saying?"

Holly slapped the open button on the door and it slid open with a pneumatic hiss.

"Nothing" the fairy replied nonchalantly, "Just, don't be surprised about the warm welcome you're about to receive."

Later on Artemis would replay this moment in his mind and mentally shake his fist at Holly. _Don't be surprised._ The understatement of the century…

-----

Three hours later, Artemis, Juliet, Mulch and Holly were walking through the automatic doors to the Atlantean Police Plaza. Holly strode up to the front desk and waved her old LEP badge.

"Get me someone in charge." Holly snapped. The surprised fairy at the desk just stared at the humans with silent shock. She had good reason to be surprised. Artemis and Juliet were not as clean as they were when they first came to Atlantis. Mulch had taken pictures and he was never going to let them live it down.

Holly was right when she said there would be a riot when the fairies saw the humans. A mob of elves surrounded the humans and thrown basically anything in arm's reach. One had even thrown an Atlantean stink balloon. (Don't even ask…)

Holly had told Artemis that his Armani suit would never been the same, even if Holly had it specially washed like she had his school uniform done once before.

Artemis wiped his slimy cheek with the back of his sleeve. He didn't know what the slippery substance was, and frankly, Artemis didn't _want_ to know.

Holly was impatient and she slammed her fist onto the desk to get the elf's attention. "Now!" she yelled, "It's an emergency!

The fairy shook his head. "Aren't you that recon jock that got fired for killing your Commander? No way am I letting you in here."

"That's right," growled Holly, "I'm a rogue agent, I'm crazy and I don't know what I might do! Get me someone in charge!"

The elf jumped up into the air and hurried off to find someone. He wasn't going to take any chances. Holly sighed and cracked her knuckles. Juliet, Mulch and Artemis glanced at each other with a smile.

"Captain Short! Long time, no see!" A voice said from behind.

Holly spun around to face the voice and when she saw whom it belonged to her face broke out into a large grin. "I should say the same to you, Captain Short!"

The two fairies burst out laughing then grabbed each other in a tight hug.

Artemis and Juliet stood awkwardly to the side, still dripping with filth, while Mulch sauntered behind the front desk and casually pocketed the stationery. Holly and the other elf were babbling quickly in Gnomish to each other and this gave Artemis the chance to study the newcomer. The elf was wearing a suit much like Holly's, however, instead of dark metallic green it was of a dark metallic blue colour. Holly's skin tone was tanned brown and this stranger had pale skin that was a mottled blue colour and hair that was black with a blue tinge. However, they both had hazel eyes that sparkled with passion and zest and their faces looked so alike that they could be sisters.

Holly turned around to Artemis and Juliet. "I'm sorry, I should introduce you. This is my cousin, Captain Farrea Short. Farrea is a half elf, half merperson, which is why she has legs instead of fins. And Farrea, this is-"

"Artemis Fowl," Farrea answered quickly, walking over the Irish youth and looking him up and down with a mischievous grin, "Of course, I've heard all about you." The Atlantean winked at Holly and Holly rolled her eyes in return.

Artemis lifted an eyebrow delicately. "Good things, I hope?"

Farrea grinned. "Oh, they're alright," her grin grew wider and she fought to conceal it. Changing the subject slightly she continued, smiling at Juliet. "But you must be Juliet Butler. I've heard about your unique fighting techniques. You should teach me sometime."

Juliet grinned. "I'd be happy to. I'd do anything for the People after all they've done for us.

Farrea's eyes wandered over to where Mulch was whistling nonchalantly, his pockets bulging. "And Mulch Diggums. " Farrea grinned, "Well, well, well. I haven't seen you in a while. It's nice to see you've still got that stealing habit of yours."

Mulch winked. "You know it, baby."

Farrea smiled again and then suddenly the smile was fixed on her face. She rubbed her eyes, now frowning ever so slightly. "But I assume this visit isn't just to catch up on old times, Holly? I'm sorry, I just realised you're not a captain anymore. I heard all about it. You did the right thing."

Holly frowned also. "I hope so. But that's in the past now." She sighed, "We have new problems. I supposed you know that Haven has gone into a lockdown?"

"Of course. We've all been worried sick. Usually you've contacted us by now."

"I've been shut out of Haven, stuck above ground. I don't have a clue what's going on."

Farrea winced. "So you've come here looking for answers? I'm sorry to tell you, but Atlantis can't get in contact with Haven. You can stay here, of course, until the lockdown is over, but other than that, we can do nothing more."

Holly shook her head. "Actually, you can do something for us. Remember how you owed me a favour?"

-----

"Remember how you owed me a favour?" Farrea's mimicking voice echoed through the controls booth. "Frond, Holly." She shook her head.

Holly just grinned in response, grabbing various weapons and gadgets from shelves and cupboards. Artemis and Juliet were clean again, and wearing fresh clothes. Luckily, Artemis was quite short, so the fairy size fit him easily, but Juliet was tall, and all the clothes were short on her. But Juliet had her own sense of fashion…

Artemis had never felt so indecent. He was wearing a rather tight black tank top and a pair of dark grey track pants. Artemis never wore anything that showed off his arms. He was as pale as a vampire and didn't like emphasising the fact. And track pants? The idea was ludicrous to him! Artemis always wore an Armani suit, freshly pressed by Butler. And his shoes? Trainers! They were black, but still, Artemis felt like a regular boy, and he didn't like it.

Juliet, being tall, couldn't find any clothes that fit her properly, so she improvised. A purple t-shirt became a crop top on her, and tight long black pants became three quarter length. Juliet had tied up her long blonde hair with a purple ribbon and wore black lace-up boots with a heel. She had also managed to find a pair of long black gloves.

Holly filled two bags full of equipment and started searching the controls room for a new suit and helmet.

Farrea was keeping look-out at the door. "Hurry, Holly. Whelk was only going to get a coffee. He'll be back at any moment." She peeked out through a crack in the door.

"Actually, I already am back." There was a neigh from behind them. Everybody jumped and spun around. Artemis gasped. It was Foaly. No, not quite Foaly. The face and build were almost identical, and the fashion sense was certainly as bad. But this guy was not a centaur. He was…

"Whatcha lookin' at, mud boy?" The stranger neighed again, "Think I look funny?"

Instead of having the body of a horse, the stranger had the body…of a seahorse? But as a seahorse body can only survive in water, there was a transparent suit around it filled with the clear liquid and to move around, the tail fit into a specially modified swingy chair. Instead of sitting, the tail fit into a hole in the seat. He had thick glasses on, and squinted short sightedly at them all with a frown.

"Long time, no see, Holly."

"Whelk!" Holly smiled brightly yet uncomfortably. "I-er… how are you?"

The seahorse man rolled over on his automatic chair. "I'm fine, no thanks to you." He frowned at her again. "It's been fifty years and you still haven't called me. And now you think you can take all our gadgets? Get out of here!"

Holly frowned, faced flushed with embarrassment and guilt. "We just wanted to borrow some stuff…You know, I've just been really busy lately and I just haven't had time to be in a relationship."

"Yeah, yeah." Whelk said moodily, "That's what they always say." He sniffed. "But you're not a captain anymore. So you're not exactly busy." His frown turned into a suggestive smile. "I was thinking, if you're not with anyone else, we could get together some time?"

Artemis had been drinking water from a bottle stored in his pack. At this remark, he choked on the drink and spat it out all over Mulch.

Holly was smiling brightly again, but Artemis could tell that the smile was fixed. "Actually, Whelk…"

Whelk frowned. "You haven't already got a boyfriend?"

"Well…" Holly glanced desperately around the room. "Yes, I do have a boyfriend!" Holly cringed. There was only one other decent male (i.e., anyone but Mulch) in the room to choose from… Holly grabbed the surprised Irish boy and dragged him over to Whelk.

Holly smiled and took Artemis's arm. "Whelk, this is my boyfriend, Artemis."

Whelk squinted at the boy. "He's awfully tall for an elf."

"Yes." Replied Artemis smiling uncomfortably while he lied. "Father always joked that Mother must have had an affair with a giant." Mulch snorted.

Holly rolled her eyes and whispered to Artemis. "Stupid, there's no such thing as giants."

Still, Whelk seemed satisfied. "Well, Holly, I can't say I'm not disappointed. But I guess I'll just have to be happy for you. Take whatever you need."

Holly grinned. "Cheers. Alright gang, let's move out! We're off to Rome!"

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**Author notes: **

Farrea is a type of coral and Whelk is a sea snail. Whee, underwater themed names!


	5. When In Rome

Ciao! Come stai? Io sono Isabella…Non so ballare il twist! Questo e per lei….oh! Non parlo l'italiano!

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**Chapter Five: When In Rome**

The gang were in the speedy underwater craft that the Atlantean people had lent them, and were already half way to Italy. Holly and Artemis sat in the pilot and co-pilot seats (though only Holly was doing the steering.) Juliet and Mulch were playing cards and pigging out on junk food.

Mulch took a gulp of soda. "So we're heading for Rome, right? I'll have to brush up on my Italian. I haven't had to speak it in about...oh…a century or so. I'm a little rusty."  
Holly smiled. "Well I've still got my magical gift of tongues so I'll be perfectly fine."  
"I'm fluent in many different languages," explained Artemis, taking an ice water from the fridge, "Italian being one of them."  
Mulch looked at Juliet. "What about you?"  
The girl grinned. "Si."  
Mulch groaned. "Darn. So I'm the only one here who can't speak Italian fluently?"

Holly laughed suddenly. "In modo che mezzi che possiamo comunicare in italiano e non conoscerà che cosa stiamo dicendo!"  
_(So that means we can talk in Italian and he won't know what we're saying!)_

Juliet giggled at Holly. "Quello è divertente!"  
_(That's funny!)_

Mulch looked from one person to another. "Hey! What did you say?"

Artemis smirked. "Desidera conoscere che cosa stiamo dicendo."  
_(He wants to know what we're saying.)_

Mulch looked sulky. "Come on. Someone has to help me brush up on my Italian."  
"All right, Mulch." Artemis offered, sipping his water. "We'll start with the basics. 'Ciao', means 'hello.'  
Mulch copied the boy. "Chow. I like it. Reminds me of food."  
"And 'Come stai?' means 'how are you?'" continued Artemis.  
"Right, comee sty."

Holly cut in with a grin, winking at Artemis. "And don't forget 'io sono stupito!'"  
Mulch copied the elf slowly and carefully. "Io sono stupito."

Artemis snorted into his ice water.

Mulch looked around. "What did I say?"

-----

It was nearing ten o'clock when the group slunk silently into one of Rome's dark alleys. The alley was dank, dirty, and no one was game to guess where the terrible smell was wafting from. At the very end was a dodgy looking barbed wire fence protecting an even dodgier looking dumpster bin (there were some odd stains on the side of the bin which Artemis warily ignored). The right hand brick wall had a double set of doors that had once been painted red. Now the paint was so old and cracked that the door could hardly be identified from the dark brown bricks.

Artemis swallowed heavily as he inspected the door. This was most definitely the place that Butler had described. The boy took a deep breath to calm his nerves and turned to face the others.

"This is it" he stated uneasily. "This is where people go to get information."  
Juliet grinned. "So this is where I come in, right?"  
Artemis nodded with a deep frown. "Yes, but I still don't like this plan."  
Holly patted Artemis on the shoulder. "I know it's dangerous. But Juliet is the only one of us who can actually walk inside and look the part. People would get suspicious if a young boy walked in, followed by two midgets trying to look nonchalant. Right?"  
Juliet grinned at Artemis. "I'll be fine. Now, how do I look?"

Juliet's attire definitely stood out from the dark clothes that the rest of the group was wearing. Juliet had curled her blonde hair and was wearing gold hoop earrings along with her usual green glitter eye shadow. Her off-the-shoulder style top was decorated with sparkling gold sequins, and her skirt was short and black. Juliet's silver shoes were high with vicious pointed heels.

Artemis shook his head with a sigh. "You look fine, I suppose." Artemis felt uncomfortable. Juliet was like a sister to him, and he didn't like the thought of her looking so… to be blunt… trashy… But she was playing the part, of course. It was all part of the plan.

Juliet took a deep breath and walked over to the door, while the rest of the group retreated into the shadows. With one reassuring glance back at her friends, Juliet knocked.

Instantly the door opened and the alley was bathed in light and noise from the room within. A gruff looking man in an expensive suit surveyed Juliet with a wary eye.

"Ciao," Juliet simpered sweetly in Italian. "I'd like to have some fun." She smiled seductively at the bouncer. His expression softened and he moved aside to let the girl pass within. Juliet sauntered in, winking to the alleyway. The door shut and the alley was submerged in darkness again.

Artemis and the others trudged behind the dumpster and settled in to wait.

-----

One hour later, the group was surprised to see the door opening again. Artemis shot a worried look at Holly. Juliet couldn't possibly have completed the mission so fast.

However, the blonde girl slipped out through the doorway blowing a kiss at the bouncer as she went. "I'll go get my friends." Juliet said, flashing a smile at the man. "Uno momento."

The door shut again and Artemis ran out to meet Juliet, concern evident on his face. "How was it?"  
Juliet grinned. "It was fine Artemis. Don't look so worried. I haven't been deflowered or anything."  
Holly laughed slightly at Artemis as she and Mulch came out from behind the dumpster.  
"So Juliet," smiled Holly, "Did you find out the information we needed?"  
Juliet nodded, and suddenly the air changed to business.

"Apparently," explained Juliet, "One of the main dudes in the Mafia recently adopted a British girl. He's quite obsessed with her, giving her every little thing she wants and basically spoiling her rotten. It's obviously Kirra, the chick we're looking for. Word on the street says he's acquired a warehouse down by the docks to be her 'playhouse'."  
Artemis and Holly shared a look. "Playhouse?" Artemis shook his head with a smile. "How about 'secret headquarters'?"  
Holly grinned. "Not so secret anymore."

Juliet frowned. "But that's not all I found out. They've got themselves a prisoner."  
Mulch also frowned. "Prisoner? What's that, like, her little play date or something?"  
Juliet continued. "It turns out they had a man on the inside of the LEP."  
Holly gasped. "The LEP? Who?"  
"A few months ago, Commander Sool had a routine surveillance mission above ground. However, the coordinates of the location he was surveying had changed slightly. It was only a few miles difference so there was no real cause for concern. The LEP probably thought it was a computer malfunction and sent Sool on his merry way without a thought."

Artemis raised an eyebrow slightly. "Sounds fishy to me."

Juliet's mouth twitched into a half smile. "You aren't the only one. Kirra is quite the whiz with computers, apparently. She hacked into the system without Foaly knowing, and changed those coordinates to enable her plan to be put into action."  
"Foaly knows everything." interrupted Holly. "He just doesn't let on straight away."  
Juliet nodded. "True enough. Foaly did put two and two together, and I'm getting to that." Juliet swallowed. "So, Sool was off on his mission, blissfully unaware of any danger that he was flying towards. Once he got to the desired coordinates, he had a little well planned accident. Do you know anything about that, Holly?"

Holly's eyes narrowed, trying to remember anything Foaly had said to her over the past few months. Suddenly, she had a brainwave. "Yes, actually. Foaly called me right after it happened. At first I thought he was sobbing because he kept gasping for breath." The elf grinned. "Turns out, he was crying, but they were tears of mirth. Sool's wings had malfunctioned and he fell into a lake."

Artemis resisted the urge to laugh. "But clearly, Kirra's plan wasn't to merely embarrass Sool?"

"Of course not." Juliet replied. "When Sool was in the lake, there was a switcheroo. An imposter was sent back out onto the shore, and the real Sool was captured and taken away."

The group was stunned. Silence filled the air as each person comprehended these words. Holly was the first to speak. Her words were forced and she choked on them as if her mouth had gone dry. "Sool went on vacation shortly after. It was assumed that he was just trying to regain his composure and dignity. After a week or so he was back at the office, Foaly told me. He wasn't actually working, he just kept checking in on things."  
Juliet nodded. "He was spying. I'm guessing that Kirra would have pumped the real Sool for details about the Fairies, but she would have needed to back up his information."

Artemis made a noise of understanding. "So that was how our foe seemed to know so much about the People."

"But there was a problem." Juliet went on. "Someone realized that Sool wasn't himself."  
Holly groaned. "Foaly?"  
Juliet nodded. "The little horsey man. He knew he had been hacked, and he knew something wasn't quite right. After the lockdown, Foaly did a little snooping and realized that Sool was an imposter."  
Mulch blinked. "But he didn't confront Sool, did he?"  
Juliet sighed. "Actually, he did. And when Kirra learned that her operation had been busted, she did the only thing a respectful criminal could do."  
"She kidnapped Foaly." Artemis said, rubbing the bridge of his nose.  
"Correct." Sighed Juliet again.

The group was silent for a moment. Finally, Holly spoke. "But what is Kirra's master plan? What does she think she's achieving?"

Mulch shook his head. "I'm guessing it's the usual, 'take over the Fairy Realm' type of thing. She's power-hungry."  
Artemis yawned pointedly. "How clichéd."  
"But we have to rescue Foaly!" Holly emphasized, "Who knows what trouble he's got himself into?" she exclaimed.  
"This is true" Mulch agreed, "That centaur has a bigger mouth than me!"  
Juliet rolled her eyes. "Well, almost."  
Mulch was about to shoot back a remark but Artemis coughed, breaking up the bickering.

The group looked at Artemis attentively. Holly could swear that there was an electric vibe in the air. If anyone could get them out of this mess, it would be Artemis.

The Irish boy smiled pleasantly. "I have a plan."

-----

"Distraction!" grumbled Mulch, "Why am I always the distraction!"

Juliet smiled at her companion as they strolled towards the roller door of a huge, supposedly 'empty' warehouse. It was around two in the morning and absolutely pitch-black. Juliet could smell the ocean nearby and could even faintly hear the water lapping on the boats tied up at the docks. But it was so dark, Juliet could barely see the ground in front of her, let alone see the water.

"Remember that 'we' are the distraction." Juliet replied with a laugh, "So don't take it so personally."  
Mulch grumbled slightly to himself as they reached the door but said nothing else.

The blonde girl hadn't bothered changing out of her previous outfit and was now wondering if that had been a good idea. But then again, Juliet thought mischievously, it would be a good _distraction_ after all.

Mulch walked up to the door and sniffed haughtily. "So. How do we get inside?"  
Juliet followed the dwarf and stood right beside the roller door. "I don't know… we could do this-" Juliet thumped hard on the door and the sound boomed around the quiet docks. "OI! SOMEONE OPEN THE DOOR!"  
Mulch swallowed. "Yeah, we could do that."

The door rolled open a fraction and a pair of eyes peeped out at them. That was all the invitation Juliet needed. With one swift kick, the girl had pushed the door up and open, while also knocking out the man in black who had been guarding it.  
Mulch giggled and stepped over the man. "Avon calling!"

The lights suddenly flicked on. Juliet and Mulch gasped at the sheer vastness and enormity of the room. The roof was so high that you would need wings to touch it, and the massive room was empty except for a few wooden crates. Oh, and about a hundred men dressed in black. Juliet gulped. This sure would be interesting. The girl sighed and cracked her knuckles while Mulch cheerfully set a cassette player on the cold concrete ground.  
"Showtime." giggled Mulch again, as he pressed play. The oriental sounding music drifted through the huge room as every man slowly advanced towards Juliet.

"_Everybody was **kung-fu** **fighting**,  
Those cats were **fast as lightning**.  
In fact it was a little bit **frightening**,  
But they fought with **expert timing**."_

Juliet yelled a war cry and ran out into a group of men. With a few expert kicks to the nose, all five were down in an instant. Juliet was like a gold blur, knocking down another three before they had even noticed.

_"They were **funky** China men from **funky** Chinatown,  
They were chopping them **up** and they were chopping them **down**.  
It's an ancient Chinese art and everybody knew their part,  
From a **feint** into a **slip**, and **kicking** from the **hip**."_

The Irish girl slid through an assassin's legs, tripping him up in the process. She then proceeded to cartwheel for a few metres, delivering swift kicks to those who stood in her way.

"_Everybody was **kung-fu fighting**,  
Those cats were **fast as lightning**.  
In fact it was a little bit **frightening**,  
But they fought with **expert timing**."_

Juliet jumped up onto a crate and stood serene in a fighting pose. Two assassins ran at her crate from either side and leapt to grab her. Juliet jumped just in time, so that the men rammed into each other instead.

_"There was funky Billy Chin and little Sammy Chung,  
He said **here comes the big boss**, lets **get it on**.  
We took a **bow** and made a **stand**, started **swaying with the hand**,  
The sudden motion made me skip now we're into a **brand new trip**."_

Juliet stood proudly on the ground next to a group of fallen assassins, blowing on her knuckles. Suddenly, a black blur caught her attention. Another assassin approached the girl; however, his golden sash showed that he had higher status than the others. He stopped and stood in a fighting pose a few feet away from Juliet, inviting her to fight. The girl complied, copying the pose. In a second, they were off, kicking, jumping, slapping and skidding all over the place.

"Everybody was **kung-fu fighting**,  
Those cats were **fast as lightning**.  
In fact it was a little bit **frightening**,  
But they did it with **expert timing**."

The assassin delivered a forceful blow to Juliet's leg, and she was sent spiralling back into a crate. She groaned and managed to extricate herself from the broken remains of the crate, just in time to avoid another kick. Juliet panted, her heart beating fast. This guy wasn't like the others. This guy could actually beat her. Every time he swiped at her, Juliet only just deflected. He was moving so fast that she couldn't even get a punch in. Juliet thought back to her training.

"_When it seems that you have met your match, be the watchful owl and not the fierce wolf."_

Dodging yet another blow by rolling along the ground, Juliet remembered the words of her sensei. She had to study this guy and find his weakness.

The assassin was wearing down and not moving as fast as he had been. Clearly Juliet's jumping and dodging was tiring him out. The girl also noticed that he limped slightly, as if his left leg was injured.

Okay then, time for a little more dodging.

The assassin swiped at Juliet with his massive sword and the girl jumped off her crate and rolled into a ball. She aimed for his legs, deftly knocking him over. In a split second, Juliet had rammed her heel into his left knee with a blow that dislocated the joint. The assassin cried out in pain, dropping his sword to hold his injured leg. Juliet picked up the fallen sword and held it at his throat. But she didn't need to bother threatening the assassin, he had passed out from the pain.

Juliet panted heavily, standing on top of a pile of assassins. "It's good to see you helping!" she yelled at Mulch.  
"I was." Mulch replied, picking up the cassette deck and stopping the tape. "Every good superhero needs a theme tune."  
"Excuse me!" Juliet yelled. "You provided the theme tune? Well thanks a lot! What about helping me open multiple cans of whoop-ass?"  
"Hmph." Mulch sniffed. "We can't _all_ be superheroes."

-----

Meanwhile, Holly and Artemis were creeping past the open warehouse door and down the side of the building. This wasn't an ordinary warehouse, there was a slight modification. At the very back of the building, closest to the water, was a tall tower. It seemed to have been added quite recently too.  
There was a light shining through a window at the very top of the tower, and Artemis suddenly felt poetic.

"What light through yonder window breaks?" The boy mumbled to himself.  
Holly, who had been strapping on a pair of wings, stopped and looked at Artemis with incredulity. "Huh?"  
Artemis blushed. "Er. There's a light on."  
"Oh." Holly glanced at him again but shook her head and continued strapping on the wings. "Whatever you say, Artemis. Anyway, that's gotta be Foaly up there in the tower, so the plan is, we fly up and rescue him."  
"That's a very well thought out plan." Artemis replied sarcastically.  
Holly frowned. "You got a better idea, mud-boy? In case you haven't noticed, we're pressed for time. Who knows what evil business the Dark Lady of the Forest is cooking up?"  
Artemis nodded. "You're right. We need to get Foaly back. I daresay he has some information on our foe which we have yet to uncover."  
"Yep." Holly replied, still frowning. "But I really wished he hadn't been caught up in all this. Poor Foaly."  
Artemis chuckled. "Don't feel sorry for him. If anything, feel sorry for Kirra and her goons. Foaly would be putting up a good fight."  
"And when you say 'fight'," replied Holly with a grin, "you mean he's been talking non-stop since they kidnapped him." Holly laughed. "You're right. But let's get him back."  
Artemis smiled. "Let's do it."

Holly hooked Artemis onto her belt and held on to him.  
"Do you trust me?"  
"No."  
"Good. Now, hold on tight!"

With that, Holly flicked the wings on and they were off. It took only a second for the pair to be hovering by the window.

The room was completely empty except for one lone figure leaning dejectedly on the wall. Holly smiled with relief. "Foaly!" The elf and boy flew in through the open window and landed easily. "Foaly, are you alright?"  
The centaur opened his eyes with horror. "Holly? No! Get out of here!"

In a split second, metal shutters had blocked all the windows. The one door in the room slammed open and figures swathed in black entered, surrounding the group.

"It's a… trap." Foaly finished weakly.

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Gasp! What will happen next? STAY TUNED FOR MORE!

Or don't stay. Whatever. I don't care either way.


	6. Mission Improbable

I need to ask for forgiveness now if my technical mumbo jumbo doesn't actually make scientific sense. I'm not as smart as Eoin Colfer, so bear with me. Just read my explanations and take my word for it, okay:P

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**Chapter Six: Mission Improbable**

Holly slapped her forehead and groaned in exasperation. How could she have been so stupid? Of course it was a trap! If she had remembered her LEP training she would have realised how fishy the situation looked. But Holly had been so happy to find Foaly alive… Now she had endangered the lives of not just Foaly, but Artemis, Juliet and Mulch. And most probably the rest of the Fairy People as well.

Two of the guards in black dragged in the kicking and grumbling forms of Juliet and Mulch. "These two were bickering amongst themselves when we nabbed them."

The guard standing closest to Artemis, probably the leader, nodded. "Good work, men. Bring them here."

The captured heroes were lined up against the wall and fitted with strange computerised handcuffs to their wrists and ankles. The handcuffs were attached to the wall, so they couldn't move more than a metre or so away from it. One of the guards held a remote control in his hands. Once each person had the cuffs on, he flicked a switch. The cuffs whirred to life, sending a slight electric shock through the prisoners.

The leader suddenly jumped upright into a position of respect. "Stand at attention for the master."

The other guards quickly followed suit, getting into two straight lines either side of the doorway. Light footsteps could be heard from outside, and then a figure dressed in an expensive dark blue Armani suit entered the room. "At ease, men." The figure said, casually waving her hand at them.

"So, Kirra, we meet at last." Artemis frowned slightly.

Kirra Woods smiled unpleasantly at the group and twirled in her expensive suit. "Am I what you expected?"

"Slightly shorter." Quipped Artemis. "Otherwise no, you're exactly as dreadful as I imagined."

The female mastermind took offence at this remark. "Dreadful?" she asked, eyes wide. "Come now, that isn't any way to treat someone who has given you such kind hospitality."

"Is that what they call 'trying to kill you' now?" Holly retorted. "I thought 'hospitality' meant you had to be…well…" she frowned. "…hospitable."

"I haven't been?" Kirra replied with mock concern. "I'm terribly sorry. Perhaps my guards could make you more comfortable?" She motioned to the leader and he flicked off the safety switch of his stun gun with a menacing grin.

Mulch gulped. "What young Arty means to say, of course, is that he's actually having a whale of a time! Yeah, 'dreadful' is actually a compliment in Ireland." His voice cracked. "Those crazy Irish. Never know what they're going to say." He trailed off.

Artemis cringed and Juliet groaned. "Oh nice save, Mulch. Real smooth."

Kirra seemed satisfied with this clumsy apology, though she didn't tell the guard to reactivate the safety switch. She suddenly clicked her fingers at the guard closest to the door. "A chair. Quickly." At once a chair was brought to the young lady. She settled onto it comfortably and then surveyed her prisoners with derision. "So. I suppose you're all dying for me to start my monologue."

"You wouldn't be a super villain without it." Artemis replied with a small smile. "Please do go ahead."

"Alright then." Kirra said brightly. "Now where do I begin?"

"The beginning is always a good place." Mulch muttered under his breath. Juliet poked him.

Kirra began to open her mouth again but Artemis cut in with a quick look at his watch. "Actually, could we make this fast?" He asked. "It's 2.55AM and I've got to rest up. It's our school dance tonight and I really do need to prepare myself."

Kirra giggled. "Oh Artemis. So naïve, worrying about school dances when the entire world is about to come crashing down around you." She sighed melodramatically. "Ah, the innocence of youth."

Artemis frowned. "You're only a few years older than me."

"Yes." Kirra explained cheerfully, "But we all know that girls mature much more quickly than boys."

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "To quote Juliet, 'whatever.'"

Kirra stamped her foot. "This is interrupting my monologue." She motioned to the guards. "Men, wait outside. I have to speak to our prisoners in private."

The men looked at each other uncertainly. The leader spoke with a slight frown. "But Mistress Woods, for your own safety-"

"Out." Kirra scowled. "When I give you an order, you obey immediately. Get out."

The guards shuffled out of the room, the leader still looking uncertain.

"Now," Kirra began, "I do hope you're all comfortable because this is quite a long story. It begins with a man you thought defeated. My adoptive uncle, Jon Spiro."

Everyone except for Artemis gasped.

Kirra continued. "Jon Spiro was not a happy man. You weren't very nice to him, Arty. He wanted revenge against the annoying boy who tricked him and stole his money."

Holly interrupted, "Stole his money?" She looked at Artemis inquiringly.

"I donated most of it to charity." The boy shrugged. "I blame you for taking away my criminal drive."

"We'll talk about this later." The fairy replied, one eyebrow raised.

"Sorry to interrupt the married couple, but I'm monologing here!" Kirra snapped. She waited until all eyes were on her once more before continuing. "So Jon Spiro wanted revenge. He wanted to murder Artemis Fowl and leave his family bankrupt." Kirra scowled. "But because he was locked up in a high security prison, this was quite impossible. Luckily for him, his brother Tony, my adoptive father, would visit at least once a week and they would plot together. The brothers hadn't been particularly close but this bonding session brought them together."

"I'm glad I helped bring together the family." Artemis said sarcastically.

"No interrupting." Kirra snapped again. "Tony would come home and tell me all about you Artemis Fowl, and how you somehow managed to outsmart my uncle. It almost seemed like you had used magic." She smiled evilly. "So I did a little online research and do you know what I found?"

Artemis shook his head but there was a gleam in his eye that said otherwise.

"I found fairy files." She smiled again. "Seems like someone rented some internet space and filled it with fairy files that no one was supposed to find. Sound familiar Artemis?"

Holly frowned. "But Foaly erased all that stuff when we mind-wiped Artemis."

"There was a window of time when she could have accessed the files." Admitted Artemis. "The data was, of course, encrypted, and any regular hacker would not have had the skill. I did not factor in that a mastermind to rival my own intelligence would be watching."

Kirra grinned. "Oh stop it Arty, you'll give me a big head."

The female mastermind continued. "With this new information, my father and I hatched a plan. Well, I hatched a plan. I am the brains around here; my father just stomps around and looks important.

"I realised that we could not just take Artemis' word for granted. I had to catch myself a fairy. Using Artemis' stacks of data, we headed off to a location where I knew fairies had routine missions. I had adjusted my equipment so it would be sensitive enough to see through a fairy shield and we waited. It took many months. I had almost given up hope. Then a fairy came flying overhead. We shot it down with a tranquilizer and he fell into the lake we were stationed at. I was underwater already, fitted with a hologram device of my own creation. We scanned the fairy's image and projected it onto me. I emerged from the lake looking just like that crabby old elf.

"The fairies believed that there was an equipment malfunction, and that was the reason I had fallen. I told my new colleagues that I was taking a week off. They assumed it was because I was embarrassed from the incident and did not question me. If they had noticed my behaviour was different they did not say anything.

"With that done, we took the fairy back to the house and pumped him for information. After a week I had enough of my own data to know that it corroborated with Artemis Fowl's data. But now I was insanely curious. I wanted to see inside LEP headquarters. My hologram device worked perfectly and no one even noticed that I was an impostor. If anyone had shook my hand or patted me on the back then the jig would have been up, but luckily the fairy Sool was highly unpopular. Everyone avoided me like the plague. I walked around and inspected things, to see how the place was run." Kirra stood up and paced around.

"You see Artemis, at first we just wanted your money. But you showed us that there was so much more we could do. Why take just one boy's money when we could take gold from an entire civilisation?" She stopped pacing and smiled evilly again.

"So here's the deal. The fairies give us all their gold and become our slaves. If they don't comply, we'll unleash our brain ray and it will turn all their minds to mush. Then we'll take the gold anyway and they'll be our mindless zombie slaves."

Mulch gulped. "They're both very appealing options."

"Brain ray?" Artemis inquired.

Kirra sat down again. "Oh yes." She said excitedly. "Working title, of course. I designed it myself. It speeds up the cells in your brain at such an alarming rate that the cells die and there is no more brain activity. Although you will still be technically alive you cannot think for yourself. You'll just be a walking, drooling zombie."

"Fun." Replied Artemis dryly.

"Isn't it just?" Kirra replied brightly. "I know I'm having fun. So that's what will happen if the fairies do not comply. We've already tried to warn the LEP but they've put the city into a lockdown and we can't contact them. That's where this lovely lady comes in." Kirra stood up and grabbed Holly by the hair roughly.

Holly yelped and tried to pull away. "Get off me!"

"Leave Holly alone!" Artemis growled. "Don't touch her."

"Ooh protective of his girlfriend, huh?" Kirra sneered, letting go of Holly. "Lucky little Holly gets to speak on behalf of her people. You can decide whether to come peacefully or to have your minds erased."

The blood drained out of Holly's face, leaving her looking pale and frightened. "Why me?" Her mind was racing.

"Because I said so." Kirra snapped. "I'll leave you alone for a moment to decide, if you like. But if you need some persuasion, I think I'd better tell you something." Kirra smiled. "We couldn't just go ahead and use the ray without test subjects. And guess who the lucky people are." Her smile grew broader. "You've all been infected already by the ray." The room went deadly silent. Each of the occupants were too stunned to breath.

"You see, before we can actually use the ray we have to prepare your brain cells. Let me explain exactly how we're going to ruin everyone's lives.

"We send a special small electric shock of radiation waves through their bodies using any computerised object. It can go through anything from computer screens to light bulbs. No one will be safe from it and you can't tell if you've been infected or not. With each moment you've been infected, the effect grows. After three hours, your short term memory will be affected. You'll forget things you said only moments ago. In six hours you won't have any memory of what you've done that day. Soon you won't even remember your own name. In twelve hours the preparation is complete and at least a month of memories are destroyed. This is irreversible. At this point, we hit a big red switch that sends another shock to everyone. This triggers the virus to activate. Then the cells in your brain speed up so rapidly that your brain is effectively turned to mush. The fairy people are now a bunch of mindless slaves."

"How does this affect us?" Mulch asked.

Kirra smiled. "Just before, when the cuffs gave you an electric shock it sent an impulse to your brain. Your cells are already speeding up. In few hours you will start to see the effects of the brain ray. Unfortunately, as you are the test subjects the process will take slightly longer than usual. We're going to fine tune the ray for optimal speed after you've all turned into zombies." Kirra grinned. "When you wake up tomorrow morning, you can say goodbye to your memories from the past month or so. After that, it's all downhill." The room remained silent. Kirra sighed and walked over to the door. "I'll see you lovely people in an hour and I'll expect an answer by then. I do hope you decide to refuse, I'm really looking forward to using the ray." Kirra giggled and pranced out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

The room remained silent for another long moment. Holly was the first to break the silence. "I suppose there's nothing else to do but comply. That way we'll keep our minds, even if she enslaves us. Then at least there's hope to overthrow her." Holly frowned. "We just need more time."

"If we go along with her plan for now," muttered Juliet, "and give her the gold and whatever, then we might be able to destroy the machine. If the ray is gone she can't blackmail us."

Mulch sighed. "Oh well. It's been nice knowing you all."

"Don't talk like that." Holly snapped. "There's a way to work this out. We're not going to have our minds destroyed."

"But what can we do?" Juliet sighed. "We're locked in this tower. In a few hours we won't have the brain power to think of a plan. We'll be zombies."

"No." Said Artemis suddenly, speaking for the first time. "Kirra said we'll just lose our memories after twelve hours. Our brains won't be completely destroyed until she activates the machine for the second time."

"So there's still a chance to save ourselves?" Holly asked hopefully.

Artemis nodded. "We have three hours to come up with a plan and carry it out. If we can somehow escape from this room and destroy the ray, the worst that can happen is that we lose our memories." The boy groaned. "It's quite ridiculous, really. I can't believe I have to go through a memory-wipe all over again."

A voice was suddenly heard from above. The screeching of the loudspeaker woke Foaly and he lay on the ground, blinking with confusion. Holly moved over and comforted him silently.

"Hello, prisoners." Kirra giggled through the loudspeaker. "How are we faring?"

"Oh we're all just peachy." Replied Mulch sarcastically.

Kirra ignored the dwarf and continued. "I'm sure someone just made a cutting remark which I am choosing to ignore. I hope you've decided on the fate of your people, Holly dear. I'll be coming to see you in an hour. My father will be with me. He has some papers for young Arty to sign."

"I suppose I'll be signing my fortune away, will I?" Artemis asked dryly. "Very well. Whatever you wish."

"In the meantime," Kirra continued, "it's time for all you children to eat your dinner and get to bed."

There was a humming sound of machinery from the walls and then a panel opened up, dropping out some blankets and pillows. There was enough for everyone in the room and also a few extra blankets in case it became colder. A second later, trays of food had been slid under the door. "There you go kiddies, eat up that yummy food and off to sleep." Kirra switched off the loudspeaker. The cuffs snapped off with a click. Everyone in the room gave an audible sigh of relief and massaged the places where the cuffs had chafed them.

Holly smiled bitterly. "Very… hospitable."

Mulch headed straight for the trays. He grimaced. "This is food?" He poked the grey goo with his finger.

"Not exactly a delicacy." replied Artemis, screwing up his nose at the trays. "But I suppose it is sustenance."

"Water." Foaly croaked suddenly. Holly grabbed the cup of water from Foaly's tray and helped him drink it. His hands were shaky.

"Do you want to try some food?" Holly asked him. The centaur nodded, so Holly spoon fed him a little bit of the grey goo while everyone else did their best to feed themselves. It wasn't easy for them either, the food, if you could call it that, was bland, cold and slimy. It was difficult to stomach, and they had to regularly take sips of water to wash the disgusting meal down. However, after filling their bellies with the feed each person felt a lot better.

Foaly started to get a bit of colour back into his face. The centaur laughed slightly, his voice still croaky. "This is embarrassing Holly. You're feeding me like a baby."

She shushed him with a smile. "I'm just glad you're alright."

Once dinner was over and done with, everyone grabbed a blanket and pillow and settled themselves down. There was a strange silence in the air as everyone tried hopelessly to think of a plan. Foaly, still weak, fell asleep immediately, and weariness quickly overcame Mulch and Juliet. Artemis moved restlessly to the window, frowning up at the sky. Holly sat on top of her blankets, hugging her pillow. "What are we going to do Artemis?"

The boy shook his head and frowned. "I don't know."

"But we've been in worse fixes than this." Holly said quietly. "And we've always found some way to save the world."

"Yes." Artemis replied. "We have."

Holly looked at him curiously. "What's the matter? Is something wrong?"

Artemis sighed. "No, nothing." Holly frowned, dropping her pillow and moving over to stand next to Artemis at the window.

"Don't lie to me, Artemis." She poked him in the ribs. "I know you too well now. I can tell when something's wrong."

He smiled briefly at her and then continued frowning at the sky. There was a moment of silence and then he spoke. "It's just that…" Artemis sighed again. "I've put you all in danger again. This is all my fault."

Holly shook her head with a puzzled expression. "How is it your fault?"

"Well, this is all because of Jon Spiro right?" He said slowly, "I started this. I built the C-cube and tried to bargain with Spiro. If I wasn't so greedy then we wouldn't be here."

Holly took the boy's hands in her own. "Artemis. That was a long time ago. You've changed. You're a different person now."

He looked into her eyes. "Are you certain? What if that part of me is still inside, just waiting for the right moment to come out?"

Holly shook her head slowly. "No, Artemis. Just the fact that you're contemplating it shows how much you've changed. A greedy person doesn't worry about being greedy. They just do it, you know?" She smiled encouragingly. "And besides, no one blames you for starting that thing with Spiro. It was a mistake, you know that now. But it's not something to dwell upon, okay? We've all moved on from that, and so should you."

"But-"

"No buts." She said firmly. "You need to move on. Stop worrying about the past and focus on the problem at hand."

Artemis smiled. "Thank you, Holly. I'm really glad we're friends."

The elf returned the smile warmly. "Me too." She put her arms around his neck and hugged him. The surprised boy put his arms around her waist and hugged her back. They stood there for a moment, just gaining comfort from being close to each other. Artemis started to notice that tingly feeling again and had butterflies in his stomach. All at once, crazy ideas started running through his head. His mind kept going back to one thing. That stupid school dance. He didn't have a partner and despite what he had said to Kirra, he hadn't _actually_ been planning on going. But... Holly was a girl, and a girl he liked very much. Couldn't he just...? No way. He couldn't ask Holly, what would he do if she said no? He would be mortified. Then again… Artemis realised that no matter what happened with Kirra he was still going to lose his memories. And if by tomorrow morning he didn't have any memories of the previous night…

"Holly, will you come to my school dance with me?" Artemis blurted.

The elf looked up with surprise. "Your school dance?"

"Yes. We have an annual dance with our sister school." Artemis said quickly. "But I haven't got a partner." He blushed. "It's fine if you don't want to. I mean-"

"I'd love to go."

Artemis stopped, mid-sentence. "You would?"

Holly nodded with a smile. "Sure. Why not? If the world isn't over by then."

Artemis beamed. The butterflies disappeared and a feeling of elation and confidence filled him. This confidence made him even more impulsive than the knowledge that he wouldn't remember it later. Artemis brought Holly's face to his and kissed her. She was surprised but didn't push him away, and within a moment she was kissing him back.

There was a wolf whistle from the other side of the room and the couple jumped, breaking apart and looking highly embarrassed. Mulch, Juliet and Foaly were all wide awake and watching them with huge grins on their faces. "'Bout time." Mulch chuckled simply.

"You said it!" replied Juliet with a laugh.

The couple blushed. Artemis looked away and suddenly had a strange look on his face. Foaly noticed. "What's up, Mud-boy? You seen a ghost?"

Holly followed his line of sight and saw what Artemis had seen. "A ventilation shaft?"

Artemis just smiled.

Mulch chuckled. "Oh I do so _love_ a good ventilation shaft plan."


	7. The Traitor

Like I said, my technical mumbo-jumbo isn't good. I dropped Science in year ten so I have no idea what I'm talking about. Just smile and nod.

-----------------------------

**Chapter Seven: The Traitor**

It had taken them less than three minutes to discuss the plan and prepare themselves. Mulch was the first to be put into action.

"The security camera in the corner is their only means of surveillance." Artemis explained. "I've been examining the room since we got here and there doesn't seem to be any other bugging or recording equipment. That's why Kirra could talk to us but she couldn't hear our replies. The camera is delicate enough to be pushed off course by a gust of wind." Artemis looked pointedly at Mulch.

The dwarf winked at him. "I'm on it. Wind is what I do best." The dwarf did some quick calculations in his head and then stood at the appropriate location.

"Everyone in position." Artemis commanded. The group casually started getting into their beds and pretended to settle down to sleep. "After Mulch… er… 'does his thing', you will have thirty seconds before the camera rotates back to its original position. All clear?"

"All clear." Everyone chimed together.

"Mulch, it's up to you."

The gassy dwarf wriggled his bottom around a bit, getting it in the perfect position to fire, then let off a torpedo of gas directly at the camera. It spun around to the wall, but almost immediately began slowly rotating back.

"Let's go!" Artemis called. Everyone sprung up and grabbed an extra blanket, fixing their beds to make it seem as if someone was still sleeping in it. While the others were still doing this, Artemis ran straight to the camera. He pulled a coil of wires from his pocket and then wrapped it around a wire from the camera. Now Kirra's security system belonged to Artemis.

Mulch had pulled a chair over to the ventilation shaft and was sticking a hair from his beard into the tiny keyhole. He pulled the hair out from his chin and it suddenly became rigid with rigor mortis, stuck in the shape of the lock. The perfect key. Mulch turned the key and the shaft opened. He then gave Artemis a boost up into the shaft. It was pitch black inside and Artemis could barely see in front of him. He was, however, rather glad that the shaft wasn't filled with electrified orange jelly. It made a nice change.

The others were close behind. Mulch gave everyone a boost up and then was pulled up into the shaft by Juliet. Within seconds the room was empty and the ventilation shaft door was shut. The camera was in its proper position and appeared to be filming five sleeping prisoners. Phase one complete.

"We've got about forty-five minutes before Kirra comes back into the room to check on us." Juliet reminded them. "So we've got to destroy that ray and get the hell out of here as fast as we can."

Artemis flicked a small switch on his watch and a screen opened up, revealing a microcomputer. Here he could monitor Kirra and take a look at the blueprints for the warehouse. Artemis examined the blueprints and tried to figure out where Kirra would hide the brain ray. He didn't know how big it was but assumed it would need a lot of space and power. He saw one room that looked promising.

"It's interesting, this place is disguised like a warehouse but the main control centre is underground." Artemis explained. "Firstly we need to go straight down out of this tower, and keep descending until we're well underground. There's an underground room that is using an enourmous amount of power. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that's where our ray is being kept. Shortly ahead in the shaft is a grate. If we open that, there's another passage that goes straight down."

Juliet passed a length of wire up to Artemis. "Attach that to your belt and we'll lower you down. You can hold it steady for the rest of us once you reach the bottom."

He did so. The rest of the group held fast to the wire as Artemis lifted the grate and lowered himself down into the blackness.

Artemis' stomach churned as he was lowered slowly down further and further. After what seemed like forever, he felt his feet touch the bottom of the shaft. Artemis consulted his blueprints. They had to go left down the horizontal shaft for about ten metres and then they would be exactly in the middle of the large room which Artemis suspected was a laboratory. Hopefully they would come out right next to the ray. But hoping wasn't going to get them anywhere, he had to be sure.

While the others began climbing down the wire, Artemis called up visuals from the security cameras inside the laboratory. There were two guards patrolling the only entrance and four scientists bustled around the room making adjustments to the giant machine in the centre.

The ray filled most of the room. It didn't resemble anything that you would imagine when someone said 'brain ray.' It just looked like a massive silver box with a thousand coloured switches and dials all over it. One side of the ray sported a large, flat computer screen, which one of the scientists was studying intently. At the very top of the box was a long aerial, a transmitter.

Artemis was planning very carefully. There were six guards and only five of them. But they did have Juliet who was probably worth about three people, and they had the element of surprise. They didn't, however, have very much time, and that was the main issue. They had little more than twenty-minutes left before Kirra realised they had escaped from their tower cell. And Artemis didn't know how long it would take him to deactivate the brain ray until he could take a good look inside it...

Holly tapped Artemis on the shoulder, breaking him out of his trance. "We're ready to go, Artemis." He took a deep breath and nodded. First thing first, Artemis redirected all of the security cameras in the room to film the wall. Someone would undoubtedly notice, but hopefully they would think it only an equipment malfunction and not realise the prisoners had escaped.

Mulch passed Artemis the tiny hair-key and the boy unlocked the grate cover with shaking hands. It was now or never.

"GO!"

The five heroes jumped out of the shaft and sprung into action. Juliet took care of the guards in two seconds flat, with a punch to the nose and a kick to the groin. Both passed out from the pain instantly. Meanwhile, Holly went all Spock on one scientist, rendering him unconcious from a fairy technique similar to the vulcan nerve pinch. Mulch headbutted another guard in the stomach, winding him, then knocked him out with a kick to the head. The last scientist _freaked out_ at the sight of the half-horse Foaly, and was ultimately _knocked out_ from a few well placed kicks from Foaly's hooves. It had taken them less than two minutes. Go team.

Meanwhile, Artemis was examining the ray's computer screen for any sort of information that might help him to disable it. He had a strange feeling that there was more to this ray than he previously suspected and it made him reluctant to make any hasty moves in destroying the ray.

"I need to open it up and look inside." Artemis explained. "I need to know how it works."

"There's no time!" Holly cried. "Let's just smash the damn thing and get it over with!"

"No!" Artemis replied angrily. "We can't just destroy it. This is an incredible piece of technology."

Holly scowled. "Artemis, now is not the time to be admiring the technology."

"You're right." Artemis agreed suddenly. "We just need more time. I need more time." He had an idea. He might regret it later, but it had to be done.

"That's a shame." There was a giggle from the doorway. "Because I think you're out of time."

Kirra Woods, the Dark Lady of the Forest, stood at the doorway smiling radiantly. "You tried to escape! What clever children." She applauded them cheerfully. "Too bad it didn't work."

Holly picked up a hammer from the workbench and strode over to the ray. "Who says it didn't work?" She growled. "Come any closer and I'll smash the hell out of your little machine."

"Holly, don't." Artemis warned.

The elf glared at him. "What's your problem, Artemis? Whose side are you on, anyway?"

"Just think how much this thing is worth, Holly." Artemis continued urgently. "We can't destroy it with a hammer."

Holly stared at the boy in disbelief. "You're joking, right?" She stared at him for another long moment.

Artemis stared back, his jaw set and determined. "You are not destroyng this."

Holly shook her head slowly. "I though you'd changed but you're just as greedy as ever." Artemis continued to stare back at her for a moment but had to look away.

Kirra giggled again. "Aww is the widdle couple having a widdle fight?" With a click of her fingers, guards had surrounded the group, handcuffing everyone. Everyone except Artemis. Kirra walked over and took his arm.

"So Artemis, you've decided to join our side." Kirra smiled. "An excellent choice. We could always use another criminal mastermind around here."

Artemis blinked. Then, "Why deny who I truly am?" He replied coldly, "I am a criminal. I am greedy, self-absorbed and power-hungry. For a while I've been confused but now I know the truth."

Kirra laughed. "Good, good. So you have no objections to turning your friends into mindless slaves?"

Artemis didn't even bat an eyelash. He stared directly at Kirra. "Of course not. They can't even appreciate this superior technology. How could they be my friends?"

"Excellent." Kirra exclaimed. "Guards, would you take them back to the tower please?"

The group were dragged unceremoniously out of the room. Juliet was crying, Mulch and Foaly were still in a state of shock, and Holly's face was red with anger. "How could you do this, Artemis? How _could_ you?" The door slammed shut. Artemis swallowed heavily.

Kirra breathed a long sigh. "Oh Artemis, I can't tell you how badly I've wanted someone intelligent to admire my creation. The scientists think it's impressive, of course, but they don't understand it. They don't truly know how it works." She sighed again, quite melodramatically. "Sometimes it's such a bore being so much cleverer than everyone else."

"I'm very intrigued by the ray." Artemis said, moing closer to the machine. "It's incredible technology. I've being staring at it, trying to figure out how it works, but I just can't."

Kirra beamed. "It took me two years to build. The hardest part was locating the central control unit."

"Central control unit?"

Kirra grinned and flicked a switch on the side. The hum of machinery immediately started up and a panel slowly opened up. "Take a look."

Artemis peered inside and gasped. "The crystal. The one Azrael took from us." Artemis stared at the gem hungrily.

"Bingo." Kirra agreed. "It's the reason the machine is so powerful." Kirra strode away from the machine and grabbed some papers on a table across the room. The panel with the crystal inside began to close. With a quick glance at Kirra's turned back, Artemis snatched the crystal just before the compartment closed and stored it carefully in his pocket.

"The crystal has many facets, and the ray bounces off each one." Kirra walked back over to Artemis and showed him some blueprints of the ray. "It's magnifying the effects of the machine. Without the crystal, the ray just creates a sort of harmless radiation. But once you magnify it..." She grinned. "Brain meltdown for anyone who has been infected with the initial virus."

Artemis was impressed. "That's quite a remarkable invention. But how did you create the virus to begin with?"

Kirra laughed. "Like all great inventions, it was an accident. I was trying to build a bio-bomb, like those faries have." She smiled a vampire smile very much like Artemis'. "With my own modifications and improvements, of course. I realised you could refine the impact of the radiation so that instead of destroying all life, it would just destroy the brain cells." She hit another switch and another panel opened up by Artemis' elbow, revealing a multitude of coloured wires.

"The brain ray is so extraordinary," Kirra explained, pointing to the wires, "because it is a double-edged sword." Artemis nodded. He had suspected this from the beginning, and his suspicions had been correct.

"Both of these sections, the central control unit and the virus unit, can work independently." Kirra continued. "So even if you destroy one, the other will still continue working. And best of all, if the machine believed it was in danger." She paused and laughed, "For example if your girlfriend Holly had started beating it with a hammer, the crystal would automatically activate and fry the brains of anyone in a hundred metre radius."

"Lovely."

"Isn't it, though?"

"But if that were to happen, you would be infected too, wouldn't you?" Artemis asked curiously. "Why would you allow that to happen to yourself?"

Kirra smiled and pointed to her ears. Each one sported a giant silver hoop. "These aren't ornamental, my dear Arty. They create a magnetic field around my brain so I am unaffected by the ray." She continued, hands on her hips as she spoke. "And besides, everyone always has a backdoor in case of malfunction. That's the reason why I created the virus compartment, so that all the hardware relating to the spread of the virus radiation could be contained in case of emergency. There's a simple way to stop the radiation speading at all."

"And how might that be?"

Kirra cackled. "Like I'd tell you how to turn the machine off. I'm not stupid."

Artemis smiled condescendingly. "No, of course not." He glanced at the mess of wires.

Artemis didn't need Kirra to tell him how to turn it off. He _was_ a genius, afterall. Artemis looked for a red wire and felt surreptitiously in his pocket for a pair of wirecutters.

Kirra continued her rant. "I'm only telling you all this now because I want you to know exactly how you will meet your demise, Artemis Fowl." Kirra stared at him, her eyes cold and angry. "You will pay for what you did to Jon Spiro."

"But I'm not going to remember this anyway." Artemis replied, one eyebrow raised. "So why bother telling me?"

"You said it." Kirra continued. "You won't remember it later. You won't remember anything later." She laughed, high and cold. "But as your memories of yourself, your friends and your family are disappearing, I will make sure you remember one thing." She leaned in close to his face and whispered. "You are a failure, Artemis Fowl."

"Really?" Artemis chuckled and smiled, vampire style. With Kirra's face so close to his, he had the perfect opportunity to reach past her and put his hand into the wires compartment. She didn't even notice.

"I'd hate to sound clichéd or anything, but you'll never get away with this."

"On the contrary, my dear Artemis, I already have."

Artemis cut the red wire.

"Ah." He said. "Okay then. Carry on."

Kirra glared at his cheerfulness in light of the doomed situation at hand and suddenly realised he hadn't betrayed his friends after all. The wires compartment slid shut behind them but Kirra still hadn't noticed. Although she smelt treachery, she did not know it had already occurred.

"Oh bravo, Artemis." Kirra clapped, smiling mirthlessly. "You actually had me fooled. For a split second, you _actually_ had me fooled. I thought the evil Artemis had taken over but it seems I was mistaken." She turned around briskly and walked away. "But it doesn't matter, Artemis. There's absolutely nothing you can do." Kirra smiled again, a true smile now. "Your brain is going to turn into mush. It's too late." She clicked her fingers.

Two guards picked Artemis up by either armpit and dragged him back to the tower cell. Artemis could hear Kirra cackling all the way up the stairs.

The tower door opened to a completely silent room, resigned to their fate. Artemis was shoved roughly inside and the door was locked behind him. Instantly, Holly strode over and slapped Artemis hard across the face.

"You slimy, filthy, rotten-"

"Hero?" Artemis added helpully, gingerly touching his stinging cheek.

"-hero. You slimy, filthy, rotten hero! Wait." Holly paused and looked at Artemis, half suspiciously, half hopefully. "Hero?"

Artemis took the crystal out of his pocket and held it up for all to see. "I just saved everyone's lives."

"D'arvit!" Holly grabbed him in a hug as the room cheered.

"How did you do it?" Foaly laughed.

"I'll explain later. There's going to be a massive explosion in about..." Artemis glanced at his watch. "Two minutes." He grinned at the group. "So I suggest we _vamoose_."

Mulch unlocked the door with another hair from his beard and the door opened to quite a commotion downstairs. There was chaos everywhere. The alarm system was going off with sirens blearing and red lights flashing. Smoke was coming from the ventalation shafts that led from the laboratory. Black swathed men and scientists alike were running as fast as they could from the warehouse but Kirra was nowhere to be seen. She was probably still in the laboratory.

"Come on." Juliet motioned quickly to the roller door. "Let's get out of here."

The group ran for the door and immediately felt the cool night air wash over them. Well, morning air. It was going on 4am now. Police cars were pulling up all over the wharf, surrounding the warehouse. Not wanting to get involved with police affairs, the group slid quickly into the shadows behind another warehouse and watched the scene unfold.

"I wonder how the police knew to turn up." Holly mused.

"Because of the smoke?" Juliet asked.

Mulch shook his head. "Too soon. They must have got a tip-off."

Foaly grinned and held up his mobile. At long last, it had signal. "They did. From the LEP."

Holly and Mulch cheered. "If you've got a signal it must mean the lockdown is over." Holly exclaimed.

"It sure is." Foaly agreed. "Commander Trouble already knew that our enemies were in Rome because I told him that before I was kidnapped. So when Artemis gained control over Kirra's security systems, Haven's control centres would have been alerted and the lockdown was lifted."

"So the faries have been watching over us ever since we first went into the ventilation shaft?" Juliet asked.

"Yep." Foaly nodded. "So they must have sent an anonymous tip-off to the mud-people's police."

Mulch sighed. "Well. Saved the world, _again_."

"We are getting rather good at it." Artemis agreed.

"But what about our memories?" Foaly asked slowly. "We've still been infected by the ray."

Artemis winked. "It's all under control. When I took out the crystal I reversed the polarities of the machine so it was rendered unable to create the dangerous ray that would fry our brains. I also cut the wire that gave power to the central radiation unit. That should stop the radiation that affected our brains from continuing to expand. It's too late to fix the damage that has already been done but we shouldn't be any further affected."

Everyone just stared at him with confusion.

Artemis sighed and put it to them a way they might understand. "We'll wake up tomorrow morning feeling a little disorientated, but the memory loss should only equate to a night of heavy drinking."

Everyone "ahh-ed" with sudden understanding. Drinking. That made more sense.

"I'm going to _need_ a night of heavy drinking after all this." Mulch stated, matter-of-factly. "Who's with me?"

"I'm up for that." Foaly sighed.

"Me too." Juliet grinned. "And I know just the place. A friendly underworld casino just down the road. Lovely people, those Italian mobsters."

"After all, you did tell them you were going to get your friends." Mulch giggled. "You wouldn't want them to be disappointed."

Artemis took Holly's hand and smiled at the group as they all skipped off together into the night. "A boy genius, an elf, a dwarf, a pro-wrestler and a centaur all walk into a bar..."


	8. Epilogue: No Place Like Home

Well, this is it. Hope you enjoyed. PLEASE REVIEW.

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**Epilogue: No Place Like Home**

"Yo, Holly. Was' up?"

Holly rolled her eyes with a smile as she entered the controls booth. "Have you been watching mud men television again?" She could easily imagine Foaly sitting in his swingy chair with his tin foil hat on backwards.

Foaly laughed. It sounded like a horse's neigh. "How could you tell?"

"Just a feeling," Holly said mysteriously. "So where's this miracle device that's going to turn me into a mud-person?

Foaly grinned. "I'm so glad you asked." He opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a metal box. "It's called the Cloaker. I made it nice and pretty." He handed the box to Holly, who opened it.

Pretty was an understatement. It was incredible, absolutely beautiful! Holly's eyes opened wide in awe as she studied the exquisite necklace. It was woven from delicate strands of silver in a Celtic style circle. In the centre was a deep purple amethyst.

"Foaly! It's lovely!" Holly exclaimed, "But how will it make me look human?"

The centaur laughed. "You'll see that when you put it on tonight. In basic terms, it's a hologram unit. I, shall we say, 'borrowed' the technology from young Kirra Woods. It's based on the model she used to disguise herself as Sool."

Holly laughed. "Well at least something has come out of this whole fiasco."

Foally grinned and continued. "There's a little switch on the back of the pendant." He turned it around so she could see. "But only turn it on when you're about to leave for the party. It's running on battery power, so it'll only last a few hours."

Holly nodded, and put the Cloaker necklace back in its case.

"But now Holly," said Foaly mockingly, "The Cloaker can only do so much. It's up to you to act the part. Can you do it?"

Holly snorted. "Can a dwarf blow a hole in his pants?" With that, Holly winked at Foaly and flounced out of the controls booth.

Foaly watched her go with a small smile. "That's _my_ line."

-----

When posed the question, "What do you think of school dances?" Artemis' first reaction was, "Oh dear."

A dance? It was his worst nightmare. Somewhere in his mind Artemis could remember a sarcastic Butler stating Artemis would be _'a big hit'_ at school dances. And Artemis had to reluctantly agree with Butler.

A few years ago, Angeline Fowl had ignored Artemis' protests and forced him to attend dance classes in town. Eventually, after almost ten weeks of embarrassment in which Artemis spent more time fallen on the dancefloor than actually dancing on it, the boy genius had learned one dance. The waltz.  
Soon, Artemis learned to bring his wallet with him and bribed the dance teachers to pretend he was learning. He then would leave, perhaps visit a café and get a tea, then return to the Dance School when his mother came to pick him up. Now he felt a slight pang of remorse that he had not learned to dance properly.

Artemis sighed and studied his reflection in the mirror. A short, pale boy stared back at him. Nothing remarkable, not particuarly handsome. But his suit was perfectly tailored and his hair was neat. Artemis was always careful with his appearance, but tonight he had been extra careful. Tonight was… special. It was important to him. Artemis wanted to savour every minute with Holly before… before he lost his memories again. The boy clicked his tongue in annoyance. At least his brain wasn't going to turn to mush, but the fact that a months worth of memories were about to become hazy really ticked him off.

Artemis sighed, resigned to his fate. But at least if he screwed up tonight and embarrassed himself, he wouldn't remember it in the morning. Artemis straightened his tie one last time and began his walk down to the Bentley.

**-----**

Holly nervously smoothed down her dress. She knew there was no reason to feel worried. Foaly had assured her that the Cloaker would make it seem as if she were human. But then again, who could trust Foaly's inventions, let alone a prototype?

When Artemis had asked her to come to his school dance, at first she thought he was joking. Then she had noticed that serious look in his eyes, the same look he got when he was working out a plan in his head. It was such an intense expression. Suddenly, there wasn't even the possibility that she could refuse his offer. She truly wanted to go with him.

But of course, Holly was an elf and proud to be one. The last thing she wanted to do is look like a disgusting mud-person. But then again… not all mud-people were bad, right? Holly picked a speck of non-existent dust off of her new dress and wondered at her nervousness. Somehow, Holly knew that it wasn't because she was afraid the prototype would fail and humans would see her pointed ears. She was nervous about…other things…

Once Holly had realised that Artemis was serious about wanting her as a dance partner she had accepted gladly. Then she had remembered that she was an elf, and no matter how much makeup she wore, or how she dressed, she would still look like an elf. But then Foaly had come over looking all smug and explained that he had a new invention.

And now Holly was a mud-girl for the night. Well, at least until midnight anyway. That was about when the Cloaker ran out of batteries. Artemis had told Holly about a human fairytale, Cinderella. That was how Holly felt tonight.

Her dress was deep purple and had a vintage pattern embroidered with pale gold lines and swirls. The neckline curved gently around, slightly off-the-shoulders. A sash of the same material was tied around her waist. The dress wasn't full length and ended half-way down her shins. Holly's shoes were silver with a very high heel. Foaly had made the shoes, and they were extra tall to make up the height that Holly lacked. Wearing them, she was just a little shorter than Artemis at almost five feet. The Cloaker necklace removed the points on her ears, and she felt strange without them. It also made Holly seemed a little better proportioned, so although it couldn't make her much taller, it made her body stretch out so the height didn't look unnatural, and she didn't look like a midget on stilts.

Holly's hair was brushed and shining, but she hadn't bothered to style it, as short hair tends to style itself.

All in all, Holly felt like a princess. Just like Cinderella.

The taxi that Holly had been riding it slowly stopped outside of a churchy looking school and the driver held his hand out for payment. Holly quickly paid him, took a deep breath, and stepped out of the car.

Walking slowly in the high heels, Holly climbed the stone steps to the entrance of the school, ignoring the curious stares from other mud-people arriving for the dance. As she was concentrating so hard on keeping her balance, Holly didn't notice the boy standing in front of her and she had almost bumped into him before she stopped to change direction. Then she looked at his face and saw who it was.

A rather dashing Artemis Fowl stood gaping at Holly from the top step. She grinned.

"Good evening, Mud-boy."

Artemis smiled. "Good evening Miss Short. But you're a 'mud-person' as well tonight, don't forget."

Holly groaned. "How could I forget?" she asked melodramatically, pointing down to her high-heeled shoes. "I remember every time I try to walk."

Artemis didn't reply but he couldn't seem to stop smiling and Holly could tell he was struggling to say something.

"You look-" He paused awkwardly, still struggling for words.

Holly smiled encouragingly. "Yes?"

"You look... nice." Artemis took a deep breath. "Really nice. Beautiful."

"Thank you, Artemis." Holly smiled again and took his hand. "You don't look half bad yourself."

The couple began to walk slowly together up the stone stairs.

"At least until midnight I'm a mud-girl in a fancy dress," Holly sighed. "It sounds just like that Cinderalla story you humans have."

"Yes." Artemis agreed with a smile, glancing at Holly's elegant gown, "Just like a fairytale."

Holly feigned a pout and poked Artemis in the ribs. "Fairies don't have tails. You know, for a genius, you're pretty stupid."

Artemis sighed melodramatically as she led him through the archway. "So you keep telling me."

The band started to play a song and many couples moved out onto the dance floor.

Holly and Foaly secretly adored Mud-people's 80's music and whenever Root had been busy they would dance around the controls booth signing along to 'Call Me', 'Let's Hear it for the Boy' and Foaly's favourite, 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.'

However, Foaly had four left hooves and there was a great mess in the booth by the time they were finished. Holly recognised this song straight away.

"_I thought that **love** was **Science****Fiction**  
Until I saw you today  
Now that love is my addiction  
I've **thrown ****all ****my ****books ****away**."_

"_When I was young I was **so****naïve**  
I was **so naïve**, I was **making believe  
Making believe**_

_Never thought that we'd __**last**__** this **__**long**  
You know, always thought that they'd __**drop the bomb  
Drop**__** the **__**bomb**__"_

"_When I was young I was so naive  
**I didn't believe**__, no I didn't believe  
I didn't believe it_

_I've been waiting for men from space  
To come to earth for the human race  
**The human race**__."_

"_I thought that **love** was **Science Fiction**  
Until I saw you **today**  
Now that **love** is my **addiction**  
I've __**thrown all my books away**__."_

Holly led Artemis to the middle of the dancefloor. "Shall we?" she offered brightly. The boy winced and she laughed at him. "You ask Artemis Fowl to save the world, no worries. You ask him to dance, nothing."

"Geniuses don't dance." Artemis explained with a smile. "Saving the world is easy compared to this."

**The end.**

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Thanks for being so patient, everyone! I appreciate it. Hope you enjoyed and PLEASE REVIEW!!

Oh, and I drew a picture of Holly's dress if you'd like to see it. It's on my deviant art account (bella-the-dork.)

http:// www. bella-the-dork. deviantart .com /art /holly-short-is-cinderella-62613050 (WITHOUT SPACES)


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